100 Thoughts of Love

North Carolina Fall 2011

2011-10-23T14:41:00.001-05:00

Ahhh....the Beach!

2011-07-24T09:35:00.000-05:00

Happy Fathers Day....Not

2011-06-19T08:24:00.003-05:00

Every Fathers day I think of all the hard working dedicated Dads out there, who do the right thing as best they can. Some have a happy family life, some, not so much...some married, some divorced, but to all the Dads who participate in their children's lives, in any way shape or form...I commend you. And to you I hope you have a day filled with love.To the ones who chose to turn their backs, well I just hope you get your armpits infested with bedbugs. And I mean the ones who decided not to be a dad, just to walk away. I hate to write such thoughts on a day we should honor, but this is for the ones who didn't try, who never bothered, who didn't care. For the twenty five years my son has been around, Fathers Day was a tough day for him. I always assumed it was a tough day for his runaway dad as well. He had his reasons, his demons, his fears, he made his choice not to be a parent. I used to think it must hurt him every year, every birthday, every Fathers day. He could have changed his mind any time, he could have called, he could have sent a fifty cent card....he chose to do nothing. I never asked him for anything, he had nothing to fear but a little boy who wanted him so bad.

For twenty five years I defended you to your son, I protected your image, I told your son that you loved him and that you would be here if you could.
I told him you would have answered his letter that he wrote you at four years old, if you could have. He signed it," Luv yur sun, james". Four. He was four years old..
I told him it was hard for you to be away from him, but that you had to do what you had to do, and that you missed him.
I told him you would have been proud of him for winning the cub scout pine wood derby, with a car we cut with kitchen knives.
I told him you would like to have taken him camping.
I told him you would have been proud when he graduated with a 4.5, third in his class.
I told him you would have loved that he went to your alma mater,and he even lived in one of the same dorms buildings as you.

In the last few years, we quit talking about you. He gets it now.

So to all you Dads out there who don't accept their obligation to be Fathers to their children...it doesn't take much, a lot less than you think. All they want is to klnow you love them.

Project Complete....almost

2011-06-13T19:54:00.003-05:00

Well, it is complete enough for a few photos. I love my new desk; I have been looking for over a year as I do spend a lot of time on the computer and at a desk. They were either too pricey, or just not my taste. I wanted something recycled or re-purposed, but being as that is the trend right now...the prices were just too high for me. So a couple hundred dollars worth of beautiful black walnut, and the talents of a skilled man who gets me and looks in my head and understands what I see....this is the result. It still needs a little tweaking and arranging, I picked up some old wood boxes from the local flea market , antique junk dealers... but...well you get the idea!

Project Underway

2011-06-06T18:12:00.002-05:00

After a long (at least a year!!) search for the perfect piece of furniture I needed; I realized I wasn't going to get what I wanted for several reasons. Number one, I have this vision in my head that won't go away...rustic, rough hewn, wood grain that makes you want to roll on it (and yes, beautiful wood does affect me that way). Number two, when you find something semi-doable, someone thinks their vintage inspired, poorly crafted furniture is worth enough money to pay the mortgage for months. And last, deep down I really wanted to build it myself. Of course, it helps immensely to have a man around who wields a planer and saw like he knows what he is doing, and also who happens to be good at it. He does and he is. So we drew up plans, bought some beautiful walnut, measured and cut all weekend. Well, he cut, I measured, and he remeasured. So far... this is what we have.Guess what it is?

Project Day!!!!!!

2011-06-05T07:45:00.002-05:00

Seven Pings

2011-05-30T09:42:00.002-05:00

Last night, at 11pm I realized my kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off...now while I am not a neat freak by any means, but I hate coming in the kitchen in the morning and seeing a disaster area. It unnerves me for the rest of the day. It makes my mind just as cluttered as the counter tops. So, after the men had gone to bed, I cleaned it up and it took until almost one in the morning. And one of those men was the instigator of the much involved kitchen project..... I'm just saying. What kind of event would lead to such a mess, you ask? Well making pickles, of course!!! Which, for some reason, two rational people who have full time jobs and can't seem to find a spare minute for breathing, felt the need to use a holiday weekend to do something they have never done before ....make bread and butter pickles. And make pickles we did. Now all you pioneer women out there, who do this for multi food items every year, and, on a large scale; I do a little "kneel on the floor and kiss your feet" dance for you. I think witnessing one of those annual events would be like observing a NASA coordinated Mars launch. Because people.... it isn't easy. There seemed to be pots of boiling water everywhere and no where to put anything and jars seem to need to all be hot at the same time for some reason. And you can't tell me all those pots fit on your stove at the same time? And boil?? Don't even mention waiting for a pot the size of a washing machine to boil. Some day I will have to have answers to all these questions. As I waited for sleep, I did hear the satisfying little pings as the lids sealed (I hope). Seven times, one for each of the seven jars. Yes; seven jars is all we have to show for all that work.When my adult son came in mid production stage, he said "Why are you doing this?" My answer..."because its fun and satisfying, and we wanted to see if we could do it. Just for fun. " He then stated "Going to the store can be fun; do you know they sell these at the store for $1.89 a jar?" I wanted to do the Visa commercial for him, cucumbers...eight dollars, spices... ten dollars, experience...priceless. And it was. Lots of fun and laughs, and learning, somewhere in the middle of all that madness.
But for right now I don't care if my lids sealed, if the juices stay clear, or if they promote clostridium botulinum....I just want to taste them! There will be a pickle tasting event in my kitchen in a month or so.....stay tuned.

New Garden

2011-05-23T20:56:00.002-05:00

How can something that looked this horrible...look so much better after a load of dirt and some free manual labor? The bare side yard (complete with an old gas grill) was an eyesore...now after less than 6 weeks, it looks like this!!

North Carolina Vacation

2011-05-22T10:21:00.017-05:00

I was lucky enough to spend another week in North Carolina's beautiful western mountains. A free house, outdoor fireplace and chilly (alas,with some rain) days, made for a wonderful week. Over the last few years we ave been exploring the western area, looking for that perfect area to dream of relocating to. Each time I discover new towns, I fall in love with a new place. In my mind I have already moved from Banner Elk to Blowing Rock, to Linville, to Brevard and to Marshall. This year I think I moved to the Burnsville area. We made a drive from Linville to Hot Springs, through Mars Hill and Burnsville, and along a beautiful road along a rushing creek (that forks north from Hot Springs) that ended up on Cutshall Town Road. There is some gorgeous land up there. Hot Springs has a beautiful setting; like Marshall, it snuggles up to the French Broad river. Burnsville has the most scenic town square and courthouse. Its a postcard....unfortunately I don't ever take any pictures in the towns, I don't know why. Instead, here are a few pictures , most taken right off the parkway. I love you North Carolina!

Neglected Blog

2011-04-26T15:52:00.009-05:00

Sorry blog, just have been to busy lately...work, family stuff, a whirlwind road trip to North Carolina...too much going on. But hope you all had a Happy Easter. I still seem to find the time to read all my favorite, but no time to post! Meanwhile, the iris are the prettiest this year that I have ever seen....and a few more garden shots.

Most Unusual Ornament

2010-12-12T09:46:00.002-06:00

I realized today that like most families, I have a very extensive ornament collection. And each one has a story, each has it's own memory. But I got some whacko ornaments!!!! I never realized how weird some of them are. And probably the oddest is this little dog. This is also my sons favorite and has been since he was 3. Actually I think his grandmother gave it to him as a gift when he was a toddler , because he loves dogs so much. It has a little string between its legs. And you pull the string...

And he lifts his leg !!!!

Blessings

2010-12-12T09:15:00.001-06:00

I think am am a little late this year with the decorating. Just haven't been feeling it for some reason. It gets to be more trouble every year and this time I toyed with the idea of skipping the tree. I thought I might just hang a fresh wreath on the door and maybe some greenery on the mantle and call it a day. I think mainly because no one really cares but me. Everyone is so busy this time of year, got to go to this party and that, decorating their own homes and spending way to much time shopping. My grown son professes he doesn't care if we even have the tree. So I thought this year I might just go without. What stopped me was my fear of I didn't do it this year, that I would probably never go back to it again. And even though my only child is grown, and doesn't really need me anymore; I am not yet ready to give up being the one who"does Christmas" for him. I am the one who put the memories in his head that I hope some day he wants to replicate for his own children. So I have unpacked the memory box, and one by one I hung the memories on the tree. As I hang each one, I have tried to think of someone or thing that brings me joy. Each one is a blessing; and I have some very wonderful blessings!

Prayers

2010-11-28T13:20:00.002-06:00

I realize Thanksgiving is a non religious holiday. Still, and possibly because of families being together, it is one that causes many moments of prayer, gratitude and thanks. We usually have a really large gathering of people; some are relatives while others are just people we care about and who have merged into our family. There are my immediate family of course, some cousins, some sister in laws, a sitter who cared for one of our elderly parents, and dearest friends. This year our numbers began dwindling the week before Thanksgiving. One dropout was due to a small family spat (which was later resolved and forgotten via phone after dinner). One couple recently learned of the probable illness of the husband; possibly quite serious but still unknown at this point; so they weren’t feeling the dinner table crowd. My niece, the only child of my brother who was lost to suicide 5 years ago, was unable to make the trip because it was her in-laws turn. We missed her and her husband but at least she was with family. And the best of friends, had a more pressing family situation to deal with, a long last minute drive to aid his daughter. All had important reasons for not being able to join us, but they were all missed anyway. So after the family prayer, I said a silent prayer for each; one for health and strength, one to find purpose in her life, a daughter to have an easier road to travel, and more importantly, one that they will all be with us next year. Although they were not at the table, they are still a part of us. Each day, not just Thanksgiving, I need to say more prayers…you never know what the coming year will bring. Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was a blessed one.

2010-10-24T13:25:00.000-05:00

Have read from a lot of sources that the leaf color in North Carolina was not spectacular this year. I disagree....I thought they were beautiful! I think there is a slower change this year, each different variety seems to be enjoying it's own time to change colors....therefore there is still a lot of green still mixed in. At least it will make for a longer time of beauty! These were taken Oct 20th, on the parkway, and there is still quite a bit of green!

Finally Done

2010-10-24T13:13:00.000-05:00

Finally finished...my tile job turned out great, but no more house projects for awhile!!!

Before and After

2010-09-22T18:06:00.000-05:00

Well, there isn't any grout yet...but still 1000% improvement in my opinion!!!

Fun fun....

2010-09-20T20:55:00.000-05:00

I have to say..... this is fun! Once I got the kinks worked out and got the hang of it, anyway. This probably the most fun remodeling "project" I have even undertaken. Will post results in a few days!

More Kitchen Work

2010-09-19T12:38:00.000-05:00

I am starting to think in straight lines.......

A Butterfly Interlude

2010-08-28T10:06:00.000-05:00

My son keeps a small herb garden outside our front door. He harvests his 3 kinds of basil, oregano and 2 parsleys every night for his food of choice; pasta. Usually our herbs are so prolific that we have ridiculous amounts that 50 people could not consume. This year they have been scanty and he has had to ration just to have enough. He came out one day and ALL of his parsley plants were stripped to the stems and the ground. I mean nothing was left. After some searching he found some caterpillars lingering and devouring the final stems and we captured them and but them in a critter cage. Now he wanted to protect his parsley and take them to another location to release. I wanted to see butterflies. And since parsley and I think fennel is mainly all this particular butterfly eats...and we were leaving for the beach in a few hours...I went to the grocery store and bought the largest bunch of parsley I could find,and stuffed it in the cage. I was hoping to see the whole chryssalis (sp?) thing happen but we were out of town and missed it . But we had a critter cage with a few stems left and 5 beautiful swallow tail butterflies. Unfortunately I didn't get a photo if them, but we released them all at once and they were very beautiful! We have started a new crop of parsley; for my son so he make pasta. For me, so I can feed butterflies.

Getting there

2010-08-04T07:14:00.001-05:00

Finally the wood is in place on the countertop. It looks so much better than I ever imagined and I am really excited about it. It gives my kitchen that warm comforting feeling instead of cold and modern. I am not a modern kind of girl, more of a farmhouse style stuck with a 80's tacky house. It is getting there, though, just takes a little time, money amd a LOT of elbow grease!. Now I have lots of sanding to do and some finish work and the counter will be done. It has finally reached a point where I can take over and do some of the work, that L has been stuck with the whole time!

Unfortunately (well, its a good thing, just wish I had finished my counter). I go on family vacation this week, so I won't get to work on it for awhile.We are going to the beach regardless of this awful heat wave the south is having. I think it might be cooler there, as we have had 100's daily for awhile. I will post the before and after shots when I get back in town and have a little time to complete the project.

This last shot is a closeup of my favorite knot and grain pattern in the wood.

Sawdust in My Shoes

2010-07-21T19:13:00.003-05:00

The hard part is hours and hours of sanding. These aren't your typical boards from the big box home improvement store. This wood is black walnut from a specialty wood store, only they obviously don't think their wood is special enough for a little TLC, as it is rough cut and uneven.
The wood in this photo is really beautiful to me. It has so much movement; the grain seems to ebb and flow downstream. The piles of sawdust look like the sandy shores, waiting for the waves to lap across .

Lest you think that I put in those hours, let me just tell you...not even close. My job was to keep the ice water flowing as it was a high 90's kind of day. I got the easy job and some of us got the hard job, but that's the way it goes.
I can't wait to see the finished
product; I think the worst is behind us (him), but there is still a little more sanding to go. Soon I will post some updates that will hopefully be the final "after" shots! I am excited !

I love these hands....

Love For The Wood

2010-07-19T20:11:00.060-05:00

Once again, we are deep in a project. We, is a bit of an over statement...I have very little to do with it except the picture in my head. Lucky for me there is a special man in my life who is very talented in many ways, and one happens to be working with wood. You may recall from an earlier post, he made me a beautiful easel, which you can see here . Recently I was lucky enough to finally get rid of my horrific 80's green laminate counter tops. I have hated them from the day I moved into this house, but my budget prevented me from making a change.

I finally got my beloved granite countertops...they are very earthy and natural looking to me and I love them. There is bar between my kitchen and living room which didn't make the transformation. Partially because of expense, but also because I didn't want that "kitcheny look" from the living room side. So I got the bright idea to do a wood pub type looking countertop. In my mind we wood buy a few boards, nail them down, sand a little and voila...so simple. Right? On advice of the wood expert, I had my heart set on a walnut; we made a trip north to a specialty wood yard, where you sift through stacks of boards and pick out what you want. It did not look like what I thought, dirty, rough cut, uneven and warped boards.

I can't wait to see the finished project; only time will tell if the picture in my head comes to life on my countertop. If I didn't have so much confidence in the carpenter I would be skeptical. But he knows what he is doing and he has some love for the wood. That's what it takes...love for the wood. I have a whole new respect for bygone days when people built every piece individually. It seems labor intensive as well as full of love. Will post update in a day or so.

Spring,....come back!!!!

2010-06-19T10:06:00.000-05:00

Wait what happened? I turned around and one day it was screen door weather, then it rained a few days, then the nineties arrived with a roar! Now we are besieged with temperatures that linger in the high nineties all day, so hot even the early morning air sucks the breath out of you. The beautiful hydrangeas you see here in the pictures, are now burned around the edges and wilt daily in the sun. The coneflowers seem happy though, and although the leaves and stems are dry and wilty, the flowers bring vivid color to the summer garden. I go through this every year and wonder why? I am not a summer person and never have been. I hate the heat and it brings out the worst in me. It makes me feel bad, mean and ornery. My hair gets dry and frizzy, and the dog continuously drools all over my carpet as he struggles to avoid heat stroke. I check the weather daily in the state of North Carolina and I realize it gets hot there just like every where else. But in the western part, in and near the mountains it seems to always be at least 10 or more degrees cooler than here. yesterday we hit 99, they had a high of 84? Why do I stay here I wonder? What holds me to a city that I was not raised in, that I have never liked and that has nothing here for me or my son. Not saying that I don't like my job and that I didn't meet the love of my life here. But jobs can be found elsewhere. Love can survive a moving van. It isn't as hard as I make it in my head. My worries range from not knowing a soul, to realizing after signing on the dotted line and unpacking that I made a mistake. Selling a house and saying good byes seems like an undaunting mountain of tasks. I know they can each be conquered, one at a time. All this crazy zigzag of thoughts, comes from 30 minutes in the sweltering heat.... cutting and edging the grass. Actually, son cut the grass while I edged. But the years and pounds that I have over him made it much more of a "lets move" moment for me.

So, now just to ponder for a while....move or never cut the grass again?

Where We Land

2010-06-03T17:41:00.000-05:00

Some days, this is how life feels...barely surviving. On the other hand, against all odds, apart from the rest, and with very little nurturing...things just spring forth when and where you least expect it. It always seems like at the last minute, something pops up to save me. Or at the last dollar, an unexpected extra few dollars from an unexpected source. When you think you are all alone in this world, someone makes an unexpected gesture that brightens your day. A small seed is life, no will of its own, but never the less...a life. It had no control over where it landed, where it would call home, or what nourishment it would receive. So it grew out of a crack of concrete, hanging sideways out of a wall. It did the best it could with what it had. It didn't flower, but it lived. it made no excuses for not living in the best neighborhood,or having a large income; it did what it needed to do to survive. It clung to a wall and hung on. Just a seed that stuck in the wall. And grew. And made the best of what it was dealt. Isn't this is how we all survive?

Spring has Sprung

2010-05-02T15:33:00.010-05:00

Finally! The rain has finally stopped and the warm weather is here. I have enjoyed screen door weather for the last few weeks. My favorite time of year is spring, I get to see which of last years plants decided to make a comeback to my yard. It is fun to see what pops up and it is amazing how many times I see something and don't remember what I planted and where. This was a hard winter for us in the deep south, so some of my plants did not fair do well. Still, that is part of it and a few losses gives me some room to try some new things

This year we are adding a little herb garden, all in containers, at the request of my son the amateur chef. We planted lemon balm , mint, greek oregano, sweet basil, thai basil, spicy basil and 2 kinds of red peppers, sweet, and spicy. This year I located my little herb garden right near the front door, and the hose! It's a lot more convenient for me and really is better because it gets more sun then last years spot. I am sure my neighbors think I am weird, but then I guess maybe I am. I am even thinking of planting my tomatoes in the front too..they would benefit from this new location as well as me!

Here are a few shots of roses, iris and sweet confederate jasmine which are all blooming now.

And last but not least, I am an empty nester once again. Last week had me watching this family drama outside my front door. But now, they have moved on, leaving me listening to quiet instead of "feed me" peeps. I miss them already and hope another family moves in to give it a go. Summer is fast approaching, the sweltering heat we get here in the South will drive me in eventually. But for now I am enjoying my little retreat from it all.

Hope your spring is a blessed one.

Changes

2010-03-22T20:17:00.005-05:00

Oh I have been so negligent of this blog. I have had a few negative life hits lately, I just haven't had a lot to say. My ex died which was sad and guilt laden for me. Then I had an illness scare, which turned out fine; but the experience showed me just how I would react to the impending threat to my own mortality. Not well. My 23 year old son won't get a job. I think he is happy and content and intends to live with me forever. And I truly love my only child more than anything else in the world. He is smart and funny and a fun person to live with. But I fear he is missing "life" out there. He goes to work and comes home and sleeps, eats, and that's about all. Luckily he seems happy, not depressed at all, so I suppose I should let that go. One bright note in all this, when I got divorced my ex husband kept the family dog, and rightfully so; he had rescued him from the pound before our marriage. Max was his faithful companion until a few days before his death. He had told all his family that ONLY I was to have Max. He knew what a good home we would give him, and he knew it would make his absence easier on Max. He is the coolest of dogs, a mix of some sort who came from the pound. I think he looks like a small Akita or related breed, but we are jot sure. He has adapted well to our home and has given me somebody to vent to, someone who doesn't judge me or mock. me. He just agrees with whatever I say and we are both happy he is here!

Respectfully...

2009-12-12T13:09:00.005-06:00

My ex husband died yesterday. We were only married about 7 years and together for about 4 years before that. Add the 3 years we have been divorced and that gives us almost 15 years knowing each other. I loved him once and I think that at one time, he loved me; at least the best that he was capable of. Our relationship started out good, but should have ended before we married. I knew it somewhere deep down inside my heart. But that knowledge was so deep down inside me; every time it tried to surface I shoved it back to the land of ignorance. I wanted it to be, so badly, that I was sure I could fix it all, or at least live with it. I was so ignorant of the responsibilities of marriage. I wanted to be someones wife, to belong with someone, to stand beside someone, to always have someone to come home to. So I ignored my ex husbands shortcomings....I ignored who he was, and in that I disrespected him as a man. My intentions were good, albeit somewhat selfish. And I have no doubt he had good intentions as well. I think he might say the same thing, I think he didn't want to be alone anymore. I have also disrespected him, as most divorced people do, by talking about his evil low down dirty rotten scoundrel lying cheating side. And I am sure he did to me as well. But, he still claims a part of my life, part of my history, and part of who I will be in the future. And I meant you no disrespect Ronnie, I am sorry I didn't let you be you. I am sorry you had to go.
P.S. If you read this, Max misses you so bad.

Thank a Vet

2009-11-08T09:28:00.009-06:00

It is once again Veterans Day, a day I never really thought much about and frankly took quite for granted. Not until becoming a mother and a wife, did I ever consider that a soldier is someone's son or daughter, or that he is a husband or father. Not until my own son was of the age when he might enlist or be drafted if ever our country returned to that. Not until a few years ago, when L approached my uncle, a WWII veteran, and said "I want to thank you for serving this country". And he shook his hand. My uncle, who still talks about that moment, was recognized for what he did. Someone else recognized what he sacrificed. I have posted about this before, and it remains one of my single most inspiring moments I have witnessed. So don't just wave a flag, watch a parade, or just take the day off if it is a holiday for you. Thank a veteran of any military branch. Be it Navy, Army, Air Force, or Marines. WWII, Vietnam, or boot camp. Thank them, whether they were in a war or not. They put themselves in harms way every day. They lose their lives in combat, in helicopters, in accidents, and in training. This Veterans day, take a moment to thank a vet.

"We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."

Winston Churchill

Venturing Out

2009-10-24T16:39:00.019-05:00

It was a mixed bag in the North Carolina mountains; we started the week off with 30 degree weather and snow, and ended with mid 60's. We saw everything from snow to rain to sunshine.

The color was not as good at the higher elevations, but was really beautiful on a waterfall side trip we made in the southern part of the mountains.

The first picture is Looking Glass Falls and the next two are White Water falls, both in Brevard, N.C.

The highlight of the week was a little off the beaten path. While on a public viewing platform at Connestee Falls, L spotted something off in the woods beside the falls. If you click on this photo and look closely to the right of the falls, you will see some stairs! Now, I am not one to run off into the woods without a marked trail . I am the one who doesn't take enough chances in life. L is the one who inspires me to be more of a participant in life. And being out of shape, overweight and with an old foot injury, I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to do physical things. I have deep seated fear of walking just far enough into the woods to be beyond rescue, and having a heart attack. For me, far enough is about 50 feet. But when he sees stairs in the woods beside the falls...he is going in! It took a little encouraging on his part, but I tentatively followed him into the woods to find a way to come up over the falls to the other side. Soon, we found a hint of a path, which soon became a good trail and then became a marked trail. It was an easy stroll in the woods, even for me. The only part that concerned me was the 100 and some odd steps that led down to the falls. That and the little snake that laid on one of the steps. It scared me so bad I couldn't even take a picture.

Eventually we came out in a clearing right beside the falls, so close you could put your hand in. The twin falls of Connestee and Batson Creek spill in from two directions. The waters pool together and form a third falls called Silver Slip. The constant roar of the twin falls echoed through the woods and proved to be a magical place.

I am inspired to get in better shape, to regain my confidence, and to venture out of my comfort zone more often. Life is too short. And to you...thank you for that walk.

Dream House 2009

2009-09-20T09:22:00.015-05:00

I don't watch a lot of TV. When I need mindless excursions, I usually get on the internet. I travel to different towns across America via the Real Estate pages. I am on a never ending hunt for my perfect house. I don't have an overall picture of it in my mind, but I do have snapshots in my dreams. Its front remains faceless right now, but its features are clear. My must haves are simple and generally are old features.

An antique door ...I love the hardware on this one as well. But I like those old glass doorknobs for all the interior doors.
this photo taken without permission from
the-peter-hoyt-house.com/images/Wooden-Screen-Door.jpg

Old screen doors on every entrance...and they have to be the real kind that slap the wood every time they close. The hinges can squeak as well.

a front porch...enough said

....fireplace, preferably stone

a farmhouse sink

And this lovely bathroom. I am blessed to have a really nice little house, and love it and I am truly grateful for it. It's main issues for me are that it isn't located where I would like it to be. If I could add a porch, get a new "old" door and screen doors, face the fireplace out with stone, get a new sink and remodel the bathroom; then it would be perfect.

Oh, and.....

maybe move it to this view.

Good days, Bad days

2009-09-05T18:00:00.004-05:00

Although this picture is from last fall, it won't be long before we enjoy cooler days again. We were teased the last few days with mild weather, and it was just enough to make me yearn for colder weather and fall colors. The fall days bring out the best in me, something I need a dose of right now.

Some days are good ones, others... not so. For some reason today did not start out to be my best. After a few cups of coffee and some negative mind games, I decided that being a 3 day weekend, I had to turn things around. Having an extra day off onMonday is golden around here, so although I have no weekend plans, I decided to at least make some of that time useful. I resorted to what I usually do when faced with idle time.....No, I did not cut my hair. But I did clean and reorganize an unusually messy house. After the May return of my recent college graduated son, my small house is bursting with stuff. Although I had originally looked at this as a temporary housing situation, it appears it is turning into a roomate situation that doesn't have an ending in the near future. Unless a miracle job appears for said Biology graduate. Soon. Anything, really will do. So while he sleeps away his Saturday morning; and now his afternoon as well, I have cleaned my way through half my house. And then a late afternoon suprise visit has turned a not so day into a happy one.

And the first Sam Adams Octoberfest.

Wandering

2009-08-23T23:10:00.008-05:00

Today was a day I just didn't feel like sitting around inside. I needed to wander a bit, physically and mentally. So I took myself to one of my favorite "mindless" places... a local antique junk and flea market. I love to wander and look and pick out things to buy; but I usually carry them around for awhile and then one by one, I put them back. I think I have almost as much fun doing this as I do if I just buy them!

There were a lot of glass bottles, canisters and cookie jars. I love glass, but I didn't see anything today that interested me. I saw a lot of things I would like to have if I ever have an old house, with a farmhouse style kitchen.

I saw a lot of nice wood things. Lots of wood boxes (which I love), but none that seemed really old to me. I also saw a lot of old crates, ammo crates as well as food crates. They are always fun and good for storage. One of the most unique things I saw was a cigar mold, I wish I could have gotten a picture, but my phone was dead by then!

Also there were walls of old tools, saws, kitchen tools, and just ...

well, stuff! That box looking thing on the right hand edge of this photo, is a wooden pigeon carrier! It was 3 or 4 feet long, with a row of doors an separate compartments. Something I had never seen before!

My favorite thing that I didn't buy, was a divided crate. It looked like it might have held wine bottles at one time. But I left it for someone else to rescue. Next time maybe.

What Are You Afraid Of?

2009-08-21T15:00:00.008-05:00

What do I fear? Everything it seems these days....is it old age ? (middle-old-age?) I was fearless in my youth; not afraid of anything that I remember. Little would stop me from what I wanted to do and no obstacles ever stood in my way. Nothing was dangerous and nothing had consequences. Nowadays...I am afraid of too much. Ironically, I don't really worry about real issues like the economy, Korea, terrorism or Jon and Kate . I worry about stupid stuff. These are my current mind occupying fears; in no particular order.

1. Having a heart attack* any minute.

* stroke, aneurysm, that last piece of stuff that clogs the artery, or flesh eating disease

2. Driving (being the passenger) in traffic*

* substitute rain, fog, etc

3. Flying...

heaven forbid I should ever have enough money for a plane ticket to go somewhere

4. That my son will never leave home..

5. That my son will leave home

6. That my house will rot*

* or flood, become termite fodder, crack in half, leak gas and blow

7. That the wheel on my car will break off and I will flip over

seriously, I have a bad bearing of some kind

8. That someday when I am old and alone I will break down and get a cat

9. That I made the wrong decision

That about does it. What are you afraid of?

sorry no picture...computer issues!

What Floats Your Boat??

2009-07-19T09:53:00.008-05:00

Not much time to be blogging this summer. But this morning I sat alone in my little back yard with a cup of coffee. It was breezy and unseasonably cool for us this time of year. The garden was quiet and peaceful; one of those few moments that stands still for you. It was a perfect time to reflect on what brought me joy these past few weeks.

An afternoon trip to the zoo

Summer flowers in the garden

Almost $0 credit card debt (almost)

Laughing with my son

A shared plate of jalapeno poppers

Light work loads in the office

Fresh tomatoes and herbs

A trip to the beach with family

How about you? Don’t forget to make the time to recognize what you are grateful for. It makes all the hard stuff worth it.

What has kept me busy last few weeks...

2009-05-23T10:39:00.010-05:00

This is before...

During ...

....and after !

What A Difference A Day Makes

2009-05-10T09:55:00.004-05:00

What a difference six weeks and 40 degrees makes.....This is my front yard in a March "snow storm" (yeah, yeah , I know but still, this is the deep South!) and this weekend in a stalled rainstorm which flooded much of my town. In all the years I have lived here, I have never seen this town flood at all. This water eventually crept up into my house, flooding out a rarely used sun room, and just barely dampening the edges of the carpet in a few rooms. I am kind of afraid to see what this vista might offer to me next!!!

Welcome Our Family Additions!!!!

2009-04-18T08:35:00.005-05:00

Well, to explain my recent absence, I have had a bit of an unexpected delivery. My first awareness of the impending addition to the family, was a blurry photo. I know, I know, everyone has those black and white blurs of blobs in their baby photo albums. The ones where you can't see exactly whats what, but you think you can and then eventually you believe you can. Well, it was one of those. I did think I could actually see an eyeball though.What a surprise in the next one though, to count distinct separate babies! And three of them no less! What to do first? Add on a bedroom? Open a savings account? Hire a nanny or two? Yikes ...what does one do with three babies? Eventually the shock wore off and we all have settled in to the realization...life will change soon. No longer are we carefree and able to sleep in and to hit the local feeder when we feel like it. No more unorganized nest for us. No more hitting the skies to a weekend island trip at a moments notice. Nope, now we are to be part of a new breed...parents. And of multiples at that. But there is one more surprise...last check on the babes confirmed our worst fears. Yes there was one more undetected heartbeat in there. One more set of beady little eyes and one more open mouth, frozen in that grimacing facial expression ready to accept whatever little morsel we can posssibly scrape together. Whats a finch to do???

Quads!!!!

My Lack of Time Management Skills

2009-04-11T08:54:00.004-05:00

I do not know what has been wrong with me lately that I can not find 30 minutes in a month, to sit down and write on this blog. It can't be that I have nothing to say, as I always have something to say about everything. I have also noticed, (as pointed out by Sue, http://thetornpages.com/ ) that many of our fellow bloggers are in the same dilemma; no time or will to post. Then what happens is, little by little people quit coming back to check on you. It takes months and months to acquire a few readers but no time to lose them ! I hope it is only the season. After long cold months being trapped inside, I think most people are just a little bit like kids let out of school. Set free! We love our spring weather, we are busy, we just have other things to do that seem more important than writing about them. Interestingly, I still check every blog on my list, as well as all my food blogs (that I don't keep listed on my blog, because then you will think, wow, she is awfully interested in food) every few days. So everybody, it's time to come back. I promise myself, that I will at least sit down and say something every week at a minimum. Because I love to write on my blog, even if no one reads it. And even more so, I love to read the blogs from all of you....I need to keep up with what brings joy to your world ! Have a blessed easter weekend.

Going With the Flow

2009-03-01T11:24:00.021-06:00

This lovely geographic is actually melting snow sliding down the window pane. Being that it is winter, this probably is an insignificant fact to most. But being that this is the deep South, that it was 70 degrees and sunny Friday, lightening and thunder yesterday; it has an impact of profound proportions to us Southerners. We don't know what to do. The women line up in the stores the day before and buy bread and milk. I have never known why...but bread and milk is what we fear running out of. As if no child ever survived on coke and cheez-its for a day or two. As I get older I find it harder to get out of my routine and to tolerate the unexpected; I just don't adjust to things not going my way.

A few days ago I had a call from my college son. He loves to cook and told me he had a craving for Eggs Benedict (which our family loves!). Of course he didn't have anything he needed, but proceeded to make it anyway. He had no English muffins, so used bagels instead. Having no ham, he grilled chicken a breast. And having no hollandaise makings, he made some runny melted cheese. He didn't exactly make Eggs Benedict, but he had something good. Yesterday, he rolled out of bed and put a few t-shirts and jeans in a bag, and hopped on a plane to Miami for spring break. He didn't pack for hours, didn't stress about clothes, didn't worry over how much cash he had, or what his hotel looked like...he will just adapt however he needs.

On this cold snowy day, all I could think about was Eggs Benedict. I was out of English Muffins as well as canadian bacon or ham. I had a stale french baguette though. I grilled thick slices of it, topped that off with bacon and thick slices of tomato, quick fried eggs instead of poached and topped it all off with a warm dose of hollandaise sauce (from Knorrs mix of course!)

To say it was Eggs Benedict isn't quite accurate. But to say it wasn't as good is far from the truth. It was warm and delicious and more than satisfied my craving. As I watched the snow melt off the windows, I realized that
I need to learn to be more flexible, to make do with what I have, and to know that my way isn't always the only way.
Lighten up and go with the flow as they say..... words I hope to make more a part of my life.

***for a different take on our snow day here in the South, check out this lovely post***
http://thoughtswhiledrivingandothermusings.blogspot.com/2009/03/snow-day.html

Tea and Sympathy

2009-02-26T21:09:00.004-06:00

In Japan, the tea ceremony is one of specific rituals, movements, and traditions. It is rich in meaning and history, yet at the same time composed of serene and simplistic aesthetics. It is a social event between people, that is full of peace and harmony.

In the 1600's in England, tea was introduced after making its way through Europe via Holland and France. It was extremely expensive in those early days, thus becoming the afternoon ritual of aristocracy.

In America, the British were reminded that we Americans don't necessarily share their love of the tea leaf; put another tax on us and it's into the harbor it goes...maybe this is when the idea of Starbucks was born! I like coffee, but I love a cup of tea. Most nights I make tea, sometimes cinnamon apple, sometimes honey chamomile....but always steaming hot and sweet with honey or sugar. Admittedly, in the summer, hot tea doesn't soothe as well, and I have been known to resort to a brew of a different nature that also helps me sleep...but that's a whole different post ! (http://pats-dryrun.blogspot.com/2008/02/38-on-lighter-note.html.

I need no ceremony or rituals. I only need the mug, warm in my hands, to bring focus to the important things in my life. The steam carries the troubles from my mind as it rises and disperses them elsewhere. It is a moment to reflect; a moment to pray. It is a spiritual moment for me, without ceremony or history; but full of reflection and peace and harmony.

Lettuce

2009-02-09T17:15:00.002-06:00

Well for lack of anything to talk about....who would have thought lettuce could be so pretty? Seriously, I snapped a few pictures of the lettuce, intending to progress to the completed salad I was concocting. But the lettuce was the only fresh thing I came up with. The tomatoes are no good, being of the hothouse variety....my craving for a good summer salad was a little premature. I gave up on the salad but did notice how lovely this simple picture of lettuce is! We are being teased with this spring like weather, high 60's and 70's; it's easy to forget it is dead of winter. I won't start with the spring fever yet, but I did so want a good salad! I will be satisfied with this bit of green for a few more months anyway!

See Slumdog Millionaire...Soon!

2009-02-03T18:16:00.002-06:00

If you haven't seen it, get yourself to thy theater as soon as possible! This is a movie that horrifies, yet at the same time has magic of storytelling. It is a story of a young man, who tells his life story in relation to the questions he is asked on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". Each story from his life becomes a step out of his tragic past towards a magical future. You must endure some serious scenes which extol the impoverished and third world nature of the city slums of Mumbai; the same city which was victim to recent terrorist attacks that killed 160 people. It is India at its grittiest, yet it is a photo of the real India. It is horrifying as well as heartwarming. It forces you to realize what we take for granted daily. It forces you to admit places exist today where children are tortured, prostituted and treated less well then most of our house pets. It forces you to be thankful for whatever little bit of heaven you live in...and believe me after seeing this movie you will appreciate your mortgaged to the hilt 1000 sq feet of brick and mortar that the most average of us resides in. It will make you thankful your children live in safety and have food and shelter. It will make you thankful to not be criticized, much less beaten to death in the street for your choice of Gods to worship. It also has a little bit to say about love that withstands all the above, and about a boy who desires no riches other then to gain love. And it restores my faith that sometimes good does prevail.

...Oh and, uhhhh..... credits to whoever the photo belongs to.......

Beer and Bread: The Diet Resolution

2009-01-08T18:24:00.006-06:00

As usual, the new year finds me fat and not so happy about it. Fat, in that I have gained back almost all the 10 pounds I had lost since early fall. Not so happy, in that recently my weight seems to be the only thing I focus one; its the one piece of my youth that I feel like I can have if I try harder. I can't make my gray hair go away (well, hello Clairol, but still...), I can't smooth away those fine lines and wrinkles (unless willing to let someone sand blast them away or inject with deadly bacteria), and I can't reclaim those lost brain cells that are my failing memory (even though I remember every word to Maggie May, thank you very much). But I can get to healthier weight if I try; I have no inspiration to be thin, just healthier. Twenty pounds would be nice. Really thirty would be nicer, but.....baby steps. What kind of diet? The kind where you eat no carbs (that would leave out bread and beer), or the kind where you count points( that too, would leave out bread and beer). Then, there is the one where you count total calories (again, no bread or beer) or the Mediterranean one with plenty of olive oil and wine (but again...no bread and beer). Bread....I will never be able to go without. I can give up sweets and I can resist the urge to use potato chips as a feed bag, but I will never give up bread. Warm bread, especially just out of the oven, is my favorite food. And lest you think I am a lush and can't live without beer, think again. We just finished the last case of Sam Adams Octoberfest, so truthfully,(since that has been my favorite) I didn't think giving up beer would be a problem. But, who would have thought Sam Adams Irish Red could fill such a void. Let me tell you, it can! Who woulda thunk?
So.... it's time to clean my room, hang up all my cast aside clothes, and dust off my treadmill. Its the only way for me; it's such a simple fact, you wouldn't think I would even have to write about weight loss. I know it, I just have to make it part of my routine. I knew I should have bought the treadmill with the cupholder! My 2009 diet has officially begun, and I expect to be held accountable to how many beers I drank, and how many miles I walked. Ermmm, make that how many beers I didn't drink and how many tenths of a mile I walked.

Another Year Bites the Dust

2008-12-30T17:25:00.006-06:00

This was the last ornament I packed away....a millennium purchase from almost a decade ago. I was newly married with pre-teen son, moving into a new life. This 2009, I begin my third year divorced and my son will graduate from college. He struggles to identify what he wants to do with his life. I do not write about him though; I know he wouldn't want to be shared in public. He wants little, doesn't need "stuff", and sees life from a minimalist point of view. Some characteristics I should strive for. I swore I would not blog about New Years resolutions. We all know how dangerous they can be.... self deprecating, self defeating, humiliating, damaging to ones self esteem, etc, etc. The concept of New Years resolutions does nothing but force one to look at what is bad, negative, or wrong with their life. Search and identify your personal failures. Then berate yourself 12 months from now when you fail to change; again. Well heck, I just can't resist. Sorry. I just can't pass on the opportunity to point out to the world (all 10 of you readers...on a good day) all the things I have failed miserably at. Too much fun to be had there! And my New Years list is very practical. I don't aspire to achieve things that are not possible for me to affect. I can't make world peace, I can't make people love me differently, and I can't seem to win the lottery.....but here is what I will do in 2009.

I will reduce my debt
I will get rid of some of the junk in my house

I will paint more
I will read more

I will be nicer to the people I work with ...

And I will quit worrying over what they are getting away with, stealing, gossiping about, getting paid, and cheating the company out of. In short, I will mind my own biz.

I will pray and give thanks more

I will laugh more, specifically I will laugh at myself more

I will do more work on my yard this year

I will clean out my garage

I will control my impatience and road rage :)
and of course, I can try once again to

lose the weight

And I will blog about these in more detail...lucky you!!!

If Life Gives You Cranberries, Don't Make Cookies

2008-12-15T18:46:00.010-06:00

This weekend was one of those weekends. Unfortunately, not the good kind where you stay in pj's and/or bed all weekend with someone. This was the kind you just do alone, because....well, what else is there to do. A weekend alone can be a good thing if you are in the mood. During this holiday rush though, sometimes time alone seems so amplified. The aloneness echoes through the silent house. For some reason I just didn't know what to do with myself this weekend. A Friday night office Christmas party didn't help matters either. Not exactly my cup of tea. I guess the party animal in me escaped the zoo many years ago. Too many young girls dancing with each other; too many "woo whoos" shrieked at every song. Now we will play Mustang Sally...woo whoooooo. Not. I went so I wouldn't be the only one NOT there. And to get my Christmas bonus. Which they pointed out we were lucky to get this year.
Thanks.

I slept really late on Saturday and somehow never made it to getting dressed for the day. Come to think of it, I never got dressed on Sunday either. I paid some bills online; then, excited over my left over wealth of $67 to Christmas shop with, I promptly shopped online and spent it a few times over. Several times in fact. Without even getting dressed. I did manage to finish my tree and also made cookies, which look a whole lot better then they taste. Don't try to embellish a good cookie recipe by throwing in various things. Like dried cranberries. They made the cookies quite...dry. I need to learn to just leave well enough alone and not try to improve on an already good thing. I know they say life is what you make it, but sometimes you just get dry cookies.

Joy

2008-12-10T17:26:00.002-06:00

Like everyone else, I haven't had much time for blogging these last few weeks. I have been busy with the upcoming holidays, busy at work and just generally ....well, busy! I did take a day or 2 off work and finished this painting that is to be a gift for my sister. I am very happy with how it turned out; it looks good in my house so if she doesn't like it...it has a happy home with me!
My son will be home in a week, so I am trying to get my house clean and some decorations up. I don't do a lot of decorating, but I do have a real tree every year. I need to have the smell of pine and the twinkling lights to make me feel like I am ready for Christmas. The holidays make me happy, even in tough times. I hope this is a happy time for you and your family and I hope each of you has joy in your life this holiday season. I also hope you take time to remember those who suffer financial or personal hard times. Share what you can, no matter how small it seems. Share your joy any way you can. Happy Holidays to All.

Paints, Canvas and a Day Off

2008-11-20T10:05:00.003-06:00

It's my birthday, so it is hard for work to deny me the day off. For that matter, hard for me to deny me the day off. Weekends are usually eaten up laundry, grocery shopping, housecleaning and other mundane chores. It is hard to make time for what you really would like to do with your scarce free time off. I can tick off a list at any time of things I would like to do just for the sake of trying it; some because I have a feeling I would be really good at, others...just a desire to get my hands in it. I want to play with clay, I want to hand finish a piece of wood that I have made into something, I want to make little garden areas that each make you want to stop and rest awhile, I want to wander down to a stream and throw a fly line...the list is endless. But usually the list of things that have to be done overshadows the fun stuff. So for my free time today, I will will not rake leaves (what I should be doing, but really...who are they hurting?), I won't mop the kitchen floor, (no 5 second rule for awhile) and I won't even get out of my pajamas (why waste an outfit). Instead, I will paint. It's not a new activity for me, but it still is a break from the "sit at a desk day" I usually endure during the week. I suspect if I had to earn my living as an artist, I would begin to dream of days in an office, lunches out with coworkers, and being surrounded by thinking people. It's all part of that learning to be happy with what you have, and grateful that we can take a day off on our birthday.

Thank A Vet

2008-11-09T20:12:00.006-06:00

Ok, ok....I didn't take the picture. I can't even pretend to have taken it as I have never seen the memorial. The photo is emotional in itself; I can not imagine the real thing...the coldness of the marble, the endless columns of names, the haunted veterans who visit it and are forced to remember. Take a few moments this Veterans Day to remember those fallen soldiers who served our country. And for those who made it home or served in times of peace.....we should all thank them for protecting what we take for granted.

credit: I stole the photo from a news source. Sorry.

A Hallmark Moment

2008-11-05T13:07:00.002-06:00

When my birthday rolls around, which it will later this month; I am fairly happy ignoring it and just trying to have a nice day. As the years pile on, the desire to celebrate pales; it just becomes another day and another number to hopefully forget. But today is the birthday of my best friend. He is full of hope, he is kind, honest, funny, and extremely devout in his faith. He never has to think about doing and saying the right thing, there is no alternative in his mind. He accepts his circumstance and steps up to his mistakes. He loves his children and his family and he sacrifices for those he loves. Although I only met him two years ago, I have known him in my head for my whole life. I will have him in my heart forever. I celebrate this day, his day, his life.

Our Daily Bread

2008-11-03T17:18:00.008-06:00

I will rise to the challenge for most things, so I thought why not ? Everyone else seems to be all about the no-knead bread; so why not give it a try? I love, love good bread anyway; and it looked like a fun, season appropriate thing to do. I would have taken pictures as I progressed, but there are so many bizillion posts and videos already regarding Jim Lahey's No-Knead Bread...I won't further bore you. Suffice it to say it was lots of fun, easy and really good despite a few mishaps. I did alter it a bit which is really stupid considering I have never made bread in
my life. I substituted 1/4 c beer, increased the
salt and threw in a tiny pinch of herbs de

provence. I also think I undercooked it a little bit. But regardless of all the things I didn't do right....it was so exciting to cut into that warm loaf, and it was so good slathered with butter;
that I forgot to take pictures of the inside!!!
Trust me, trial and error aside...it was good and easy and apparently is no fail. If you haven't tried it yet, check out this link; it is my favorite of all the demonstrations. It proves the point "so easy a 4 year old can do it" !
http://steamykitchen.com/blog/2007/09/10/no-knead-bread-revisited/

Simple Picture

2008-10-29T21:35:00.010-05:00

A simple photo is often the best. This is one of my favorites from a recent trip to the N.C. mountains. One of my favorite places is this mountain top church. It sits high above Valle Crucis and is by far one of the most beautiful spots I have ever seen. Simple and honest. The window is on the back of the church, facing the woods. Very unassuming. God's house. I'm sure of it.

This is the church itself. Sadly, as is all too often these days, the doors were locked. I could see through the window and see that the ceiling was arched and beamed of dark wood. It looked very much like an ancient inverted ship hull.

And this is the cemetery that sits beside the church. Who should be so lucky to have this as a place for earthly remains? I am sure those who look down on this are in a far better place. But for those of us who still find their heaven on earth for the time being...this is it.

Fall Travels

2008-10-27T18:21:00.009-05:00

I was lucky enough to spend the last week in North Carolina...Probably one of my favorite states, at least of the ones I have been to. Unfortunately, I have not seen enough of these great states we live in. Some day I would love to live in N.C. and I would like to see more of this country. I am a back roads kind of traveler. On some trips that doesn't work well, like this one where we were a little pressed for time. Next time I would like to take a slower road (although the interstate was full of leaf color and really beautiful north of Knoxville), stop more frequently and turn down more of those roads that you "wonder whats up there". When we got back home the air was crisp and had that fall chill, cool even for Alabama. I love the fall...short though it is in the South, it still remains my favorite time of year. I am posting a few pictures of the beautiful foliage from the mountains...wishing I was still there, but thanking God for the beautiful place in which we live.

Soup's On

2008-10-08T19:16:00.003-05:00

Yeah yeah, I know...everyone is taking pictures of their food and posting it on the internet. I know it is no longer even remotely original or interesting to most people. Regardless, I obssess over food and what people ate for dinner and how they cooked it, etc. Can't get enough of it. It's like spying. Maybe it's because food is the most basic item we all have in common with each other. We all have to eat. What and how we eat reveals a lot about who we are. Some of us cook our own food and others let a chef cook for them. Some eat with the family and some eat alone. Some sit at the table and some lean over the kitchen sink. Some eat only what is neccessary to stave off hunger and others eat for the sheer pleasure of it. Truthfully, I do all of the above.... I eat with other people sometimes, alone most. I have been known to eat right out of a package (in a hurry), at my desk (most days), straight out of the fridge (distracted). Usually though, I cook my own food, put it on a pretty plate and make it look nice. And as I sit and eat alone, I feel like someone put a little heart and soul into my meal...to make me feel worth it. It makes even the simplest dinner of soup and bread bring comfort as well as nourishment. We share food in common no matter where we live or who we are. So, I decided to share a picture of last nights supper. I would give you the recipe for this "best chicken soup in the world", but unfortunately I don't cook like that. I rarely use a recipe and I never write it down. Basically it is homemade chicken stock with celery and onions, cut up chicken breast meat, brown rice, fresh cilantro and ro-tel tomatoes. Cook slow until rice thickens it up. I forgot to add the corn , but it was still good. And next time I make it, it will probably be different...since I didn't write it down. But whoever gets to eat it, gets a little love in their soup.

Sounds of Silence

2008-10-01T00:03:00.002-05:00

I live on a fairly quiet side street that gets very little traffic. A row or two of houses and a buffer of trees away, lies a main thoroughfare that gets heavy traffic during the day. Its not too bad at night, but once you have turned off it and on to my street, you aren't so aware of the nearby congestion. Except at night. At night with the world bedded down, one hears sounds not audible during the daylight hours. Haunting train whistles, lone cars that pass in the night, distant sirens...background noise normally not noticed. Nights that protest against my attempts to sleep, find me listening to those sounds. They are not individual sounds that can be separated from each other; but rather a constant drone of silent noise that keeps me awake. Tonight, I again listened to those silent voices.

My iPod

2008-09-29T17:52:00.003-05:00

Well it was one of those weekends with not much to do. I am not much for activity filled free time nor do I need to be constanly entertained. I do not, however, deal well with too much time alone. My mind wanders and does damaging things, creates scenarios that come out of God knows where, and I find things to worry about that I can't do anything about anyway. So to cope, I need to make things to do that occupy my brain...both sides. Not just mundane chores and routine tasks; I have those going on the side. No, I need something that totally keeps my attention . So somehow I decided that this was a good weekend to organize my music on my ipod. My computer has been acting funky lately, and between music and pictures, I started to realize I would lose a lot if it decided to crash and burn. So I started with my music, as I don't think I can even begin to touch the photos; no that will have to wait for a long weekend alone. Now if you have an Ipod and you are a not so young person, like myself...you undoubtedly were taught how to use it by a child or a teenager. On, off, download, sync, play..about all there is to it really. Except my music is all mixed up, much without titles, most without album cover pictures (thats the best part too) and some were on the ipod, some were still on the itunes player. All I can say is...trial and error. No such luck with the online manual; it referred to buttons that weren't there, disconnecting before ejecting, playlists you haven't created yet. All I wanted was all the classical together, all the Green day together, all the bluesy romantics together, etc......I just don't want to hear Viva la Vida in the middle of an Andrea Bocelli marathon! After much work and many hours of focused attention; I got the job done. I even have album covers where they are supposed to be and all my music is categorized. If only the photos would be so easy!

Automophobia

2008-09-18T17:47:00.003-05:00

I hate cars. I have never had a really nice car...the kind people wash in the touchless car wash, the kind people name, the kind people park in the parking place thats in the next zip code so no one parks next to them. I never really wanted one of those anyway. I just need 4 wheels and an engine...that are reliable, that I can trust, and that are relatively economical to fuel and maintain. Besides that ...its just transportation. Oh...and did I mention a man to fix said car. Yeah; I need it to come with a man to do everything it needs except gas it up; I can do that. Actually I like to do that because I love the smell of gasoline and diesel. Beyond that, I hate taking the car in for any kind of repair or maintenance. I don't even like to take it in to get the oil changed. I can handle anything else; I can use a circular saw, do your income taxes, cast a nice line, even program and operate a DVD. But... DO NOT ask me when I changed the oil in the car, or where I bought my battery, or what kind of tires I have. I don't want to know. I don't care. It makes my skin crawl and my eyes glaze over. I have cried when it didn't start and I fear the man who drives the tow truck. I think all men who work under cars, also went to that schoool where they teach you exactly how to make me feel stupid, as well as how to sucker-punch me for every penny left on my credit card limit. So imagine my gratitude when my best man friend in the world fixed mine for me last night. And after about 20 minutes of trying to release a bolt with an inadequate tool not meant for cars....we went shopping and I became the proud owner of a metric socket set.

With 60 pieces even. Don't hate me.

Moody Blues

2008-09-11T21:14:00.006-05:00

I don't know what else it could be......I haven't been able to come up with any witty blog topics, I am content one minute, a raving hormonal wreck the next. Maybe its summer; I am ready for it to be over. Its hot and the yard and garden are looking rather grim. I wish I could say those cone flowers were mine; but mine didn't bloom. These were from a North Carolina trip 2 weeks ago. They temporarily made me feel happy; they tempted me with fall. But the mood returns too quickly. Restlessness, loneliness, boredom.

I do find joy in this beautiful part of the country,
but it also makes where I live pale in comparison. I find it harder and harder to suffer through the heat and the $200 power bills, with each passing year. I imagine if I lived where it was cold, I would pine away for tropical heat waves of the south. the grass is always greener, as they say.
I am blessed with what I have...why is it I always want something I can't have. Why can't I be happy with what I have and who I am.
When will autumn be here?

How Green is Your Valley?

2008-08-16T10:36:00.003-05:00

Who knows theses days. This past year or so has brought a blizzard of information on becoming green. It used to be you heard the obvious suggestions; recycle whenever possible,don't buy things that don't degrade, turn off the lights, replace bulbs, lower the thermostat, carpool, etc. Most are pretty obvious. But the more you read, the more confused you are. One article says "wash your dishes in the sink, the old fashion way." That seems to be common sense . But I have just read it is more economical and less water is wasted if you wash dishes in your dishwasher; provided of course that it is full . Do they take into consideration the energy used to make that dishwasher? Or the fact that it ends up in a dump eventually? Whats more important; the water wasted or energy used to run it. Who knows. Plastic or paper? Who measures this stuff and how? I suspect that 90% of the information we are fed comes from big business trying to sell you their goods. They want you to buy a new one. They try and put you in the mindset that you must replace what you have with a more eco-conscious model. Yep, you should ditch that ever faithful Kenmore in favor of a shiny red front loader. Never mind that yours is headed for the dump. And that's not environmentally friendly. I just read a fashion type magazine, and they featuring a pair of $3500 pair of shorts. BUT WAIT ....they are made out of organic cotton. What the cotton ate only organic feed? The cotton didn't absorb any pollutants? No boll weevils were killed with pesticides to grow this cotton? I suspect that the cotton used is very much the same as other cotton. You can not convince me that wearing those $3500 shorts is better for the environment. Someday, I think we will see an agency stem out of the EPA; they will make official ratings on so called green products. We need to know what is really earth friendly and what is just being pushed by the media. I think we need to really be careful not to get swept into the wrong cracks here...It will be very easy to convince yourself that some of your efforts are earth friendly, when in fact they are self friendly. Educate yourself and research whenever you can before you make a purchasing decision. If you love those $3500 shorts, then by all means go for it. But if you think you are taking one for the planet.......think again.

Borrowing

2008-08-13T17:38:00.004-05:00

I really don't have much to write about today...It was a good day and unseasonably cool for the South, so for that I am grateful. So instead of me rambling for 5 minutes, I would like to borrow this beautiful post which was written by my friend. He is a new blogger, although not new to writing. I think he writes beautifully, simple and to the point. He commutes nearly an hour (one way!) every day to work. His goal is to "blog his daily thoughts" that accompany him on his drive. I think this post is soulful and nostalgic; read it and see what you think. And feel free to leave him a comment! http://thoughtswhiledrivingandothermusings.blogspot.com/2008/08/illusion-of-winter-past.html

The Joy of ......

2008-08-12T18:05:00.002-05:00

Rain. Pure simple rain. My joy today comes in the form of much needed showers. All day we have had drizzly, slow rain, gray skies and cool cool temps of low 80's rather than the normal 100 of August. This is usually our hottest month and last year we also were plagued by crippling drought. This year, although we have had some hot days and little rain, we haven't suffered as much. Today was a treat for my garden and yard, not to mention sparing me from standing in the heat trying to give every plant a quick drink from the hose. I love to garden when the weather is mild, but my aging bones can't stand the heat anymore. I wish we could have a little thunder and lightening tonight to complete my favorite kind of night...

My Brother Bill

2008-07-22T17:22:00.004-05:00

A few of the people who read me here, know me in real life; most do not. For those of you who don't...this is my brother Bill. He was a few years older then me but much more accomplished. He was a National Merit Scholar, an Honor graduate at Vanderbilt, a husband, a father. He died by his own hand in 2005. In September, all of Bill's family and friends, will walk in his memory, to support the American Foundation for Suicide Support. Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death among males and the third leading cause of death among young people between the ages of 10 and 24. The THIRD leading cause. Over 90 percent of suicide victims are either depressed or abusers of alcohol. Won't you please help by clicking on the link below, and making a small donation ....all proceeds go to educate people on depression and suicide prevention. Hopefully the loss of one person will help save the life of another. And if you know someone who is at risk...watch for the signs. Pay attention to symptoms and don't feel like its no big deal or that someone else will intervene. And if you know someone who might be interested in helping, please pass this link on to them. Awareness is the key to turning around those statistics !!
To make a donation or for information: http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=658&participantID=6807

How Goes the Green?

2008-07-20T10:02:00.004-05:00

Well, at my house, we are about 3 months into our "go green" transformation. If you read the earlier post, http://pats-dryrun.blogspot.com/2008/06/going-green.html then you know I have taken an, albeit too late, but obsessive interest in our environment and its inevitable demise. I recognize that we each can do a lot to better the future of our earth. And I also recognize that it isn't a situation where one should feel that they can not make an impact. The biggest contribution, in addition to making changes ourselves, is to educate others, especially our children. Our kids are much more aware then their parents about recycling, our carbon footprints, and the circle of effects of our oil usage. I have to do things in baby steps if I want to succeed. So my the changes I made, were that we would take part in our city's recycling program, switch from paper napkins to cloth, switch to recyclable grocery bags, and quit buying water in plastic bottles. The recycling we have easily melded into. The first few times were a bit of a mess. We found that even though the website states they take glass, they actually do not. So they weren't real fond of the beer bottles that we left as an environmental contribution. I still don't get the "no glass" thing but they take everything else, limiting plastics to 1 and 2. The switch from paper to cloth napkins was totally an unnoticed change. I need to buy a few more, but otherwise; painless! The grocery bag switch was also easy. I just have to find a way to remember to take them with me into the store. But the water thing has been hard. I quit buying plastic bottles of water and I do miss them. There is something embedded in my brain that makes me think the bottled water tastes better. It even works when I fill a saved bottle up with tap water and chill it. So I have to work on that notion. I have a Brita pitcher, but the filters eat you up at about $6 a piece. I am ready to add a few more changes...the one I need to do the most is to cut out or at least cut way back on paper towel usage. I go through a lot on a daily basis. I am not sure what an easy replacement would be. It seems if you use dish towels, they will always be damp and having to be replaced with a dry one. I guess though, that they won't take more room in the washing machine. I think this will be on my new list of changes to add at my house. And I am also going to try my moms old habit, which I used to think was disgusting, of re-using plastic bags...like sandwich bags. I used to scoff at her drying bag which she used to stick upside down over the kitchen faucet to dry. Now they make a rack that goes in your dishwasher to wash those same bags. Who knew...besides Mom !!

Whats This????

2008-07-15T18:14:00.005-05:00

In my garage, I have an old, small chest of drawers that sits right outside my kitchen door. It has been a handy place for dropping gardening gloves, pruning shears, tiles that I have dug up out of the ground...anything I would normally lose out in the yard. You can see all these things laying on the top. Wait, never mind, that is a hatchet, not pruners .You can also see in the picture that I keep garbage bags and a weeder stuck in the top drawer..thus it stands open pretty much all of the time.
.

But look what else is inside the top drawer...a new birds nest. A little male and female chickadee are building a new nest; in the nice cool (relatively) and shady garage. I do wonder why birds would be starting a new nest now...do they lay eggs this late in the season? Or are they just after a little love nest? This afternoon when I pulled my car in the garage, they were sitting together side by side on the edge of the open drawer. I wish I could have grabbed my camera, but they hopped off long enough for me to pass through the door. I guess this drawer will stay open awhile longer!

Not Much To Say

2008-07-14T18:30:00.003-05:00

For some reason, I have very little to say right now. Everything in my life is just...plugging along. I don't seem to have any negative issues, but then nothing just screams unbounding ecstasy either. I spent a lot of work this summer on my container vegetable "garden". I planted an heirloom variety as well as Better Boy and a compact bush variety. I also planted sweet peppers. Don't ever put heirloom varieties in your garden. I didn't seem to pay any attention at the time to the fact that those plants are not disease and wilt resistant. So after it grew to be about 6 feet tall, it then proceeded to drop every flower at the stem...some kind of wilt fungussy disease. Which soon spread to my other plants. On top of that , the plants all have a dose of blossom end rot. From reading up that seems to come from inconsistent watering and a lack of calcium. Seems if I had known I could have added lime. I wish I had chopped the heirloom tomato plant down a little sooner. For all the trouble, this picture is literally the fruits of my labor ....There are a few more green tomatoes, but they seem to be very slow to ripen. May have to have fried green ones soon. And so it goes.

Summer Fun

2008-07-01T18:48:00.013-05:00

Just a few days ago I woke up to this every morning....it takes me almost as long as my vacation was to get "back to the real world".
We had a wonderful trip and lots of fun with family; most of whom I only see once a year at this family reunion. We have been getting together at the beach every year since we were children; now we all have children , some of whom will soon be parents themselves. There are 2 "moms" of the bunch, both in their 80's, 7 cousins (including myself), and we have a total of 17 kids. Various spouse were thrown in for good measure.

We took turns cooking for the crowd and on my night I cooked this.

And after we ate, we watched this. No TV.......

On Fathers Day

2008-06-13T13:48:00.004-05:00

I will be out of town with family for the next 10 days, so this will be last post until June 25. Those few who labor to read me, please don't go away forever!
The occurrence of Fathers Day causes me to consider several issues. One, that my son's father has never seen him or spoken to him, much less inquired about his well being. In my sons 21 years of life, his father has made no financial or emotional contribution. That being said, I have never been bitter nor resentful to the fact that as a doctor, he had the financial resources to help, but didn't. Friends have asked why I never sued him for support. At the time, when my son was a baby, I was so consumed in the gift of having a child and all the wonders of it; I just couldn't be bothered with anything that might make it a negative experience. As he grew, we had some rocky times financially. But with family help we always had everything we needed. And there were also emotionally rough times…all those family trees in early school years always demanded explanations as to why our family structure was different then most. But in the end, I had the gift of a child to rise and to love. His father made his choice and that was to not participate. His choice…..he just decided he wouldn't have a son. I often wonder what his life is like now; I think his lack of responsibility must weigh heavy on his heart. Or not.

I watch my best friend L struggle with his life now that his children live several hours away from him. On one hand, I doubt Fathers Day is any different from any other to him. It's another day away from his kids, regardless of the date. I think all a man wants on Fathers Day is more time with his children. But on the other hand, it hurts to think he will spend that day alone, when he should be celebrated as a wonderful Dad. He struggles for his time with them, from the 10 hours of driving to spend a weekend with them, to the serious financial considerations of divorce. But… he is there, as much as possible . He is there for his children for the bad times; when they hate him, misunderstand him, mistrust him, question his faith…..and for the good times; when despite it all they love him deeply, just don't know how to show it without choking on learned pride. A man who is a father, is a father for life. Divorced, married, single, absent…... Each decides what kind of Father he will be. It's the mark of the man.

Waiting

2008-06-12T18:36:00.003-05:00

A poem about a recent early morning wait....

I close my eyes, I wait, I wait

To fall asleep, I wait

Until it's time, I wait

To hear your step, I wait,

To feel your breath, I wait

To have your love , I wait

I wait.

Global Warning?

2008-06-12T18:12:00.003-05:00

Its so odd, the way there have been so many weather related tragedies the last few days. Here in the South, we have moaned and complained that we need rain and it is too hot. Then I read about the horrors in the Midwest associated with too much rain. Floods, people drowning, levees breaking….makes me feel guilty for wishing for a bit of that rain. I am sure they have wished for some dry heat like the South and east is experiencing…and I see that 17 people have been lost in heat related deaths. And today there is the sad news of the loss of 4 boy scouts in a horrific tornado. It seems there are extreme weather related circumstances going on all over this country. Global warming? We finally had our first drops of rain yesterday, hopefully enough ...but my worries over tomato plants seems so trivial now.

Gifts

2008-06-09T16:58:00.005-05:00

This is L's gift to me for my birthday which was this past winter. I knew he was building me an easel...something I have always wanted, but had never quite found the right one, nor one I could afford. I wasn't sure what was taking so long, until I he brought it over this weekend. He made this for me out of some cherry wood that he had in his workshop. The detail in the picture shows beautiful hand-carved pieces of contrasting woods. I know it will eventually be covered in slashes of paint. Although I will try to keep it clean, I know it won't stay that way ..... my coffee table and dining room table, both bear the details of past paintings I have done. I have used everything from my mantel with nails poked in it, to a stool standing on a table to hold my canvases. Now I really feel like an artist, with a custom hand made, hand carved and hand waxed easel. I think this easel is beautiful and is as much a work of art as any canvas it will ever hold. God gives us many talents, from carving and working with wood, to writing and painting. I thank God for his gift to Larry and I thank Larry for his gift to me.

Oh, and did I mention that he bakes ?

Hanging On

2008-06-08T11:00:00.004-05:00

Daylilies...........although they are one of the most carefree, near "weed", and prolific multipliers, are one of my most favorite plants. Even the common orange street side variety captures my attention. In China, some varieties of daylilies are used in the kitchen, There is a yellow variety that is considered a delicacy and is used in a type of golden soup. I love to pair orange flowers with blue in the garden. You can see blue plumbago in the background in this picture. The plumbago is struggling; it should be three times as big as it is now. It is struggling to survive from being wintered over, I know its not usually done and is rarely successful, but I can't bring myself to pitch a plant that still breathes. I am coming to realize I am a person who has a hard time giving it up, in all walks of life. I dragged my marriage out till it was painful before I accepted it wasn't going to survive. I can't accept that my son is an adult and does not need me to nurture (torture) him any longer. I struggle to hold on to things way past the end. Daylilies bloom, flourish and die all in one day. It amazes me that something so beautiful yet so simple is here one minute and gone the next. Like people in your life. One minute you hold it in your hand; the next minute it's gone. How about you, do you hold on..... Or do you let go?

The Best Thing About Having a Party

2008-06-07T10:50:00.004-05:00

Having a party out of obligation isn't the best thing in the world. In this case, a baby shower. I rarely volunteer for office functions...just because no matter what every one intends; i.e. everyone will chip in, everyone will help clean up, we will all bring something, etc etc....the reality is no one will help you, everyone forgets to bring their food, and you always come up short of money to pay for it. Nevertheless, because the object of this shower has been a great employee and has really helped me out by doing her work, I felt like this was one I wanted to participate in. So, I boldly volunteered my house. Eventually, it gravitated towards my house as well as I make all the food and they pay for it. Which was also fine with me. I am funny about eating food, when I don't know the condition of the kitchen it came out of, nor the habits of the cook. I always discretely ask "who made this" before eating anything that appears at my office. It all worked out pretty well. The best thing isn't that you have an entire house clean at one time. That is really nice, but its less then 24 hours later and it's beginning to get that lived in look already. Also we have torn up 2 closets looking for stuff we hid away while "cleaning". And the best thing isn't you get to keep all the left over food. Truthfully, I really don't want to see any of that food again. I had a difficult time even eating it at the shower; just the 200 hundred bites I sampled while making it all was plenty for me. And it wasn't even getting to keep all the beautiful flowers. I love flowers, and even these that were not my style of pale pinks, have a welcome place in my house.

No, the best part of having a party is having this and coffee for breakfast. Can't beat it.

Going Green

2008-06-06T14:30:00.009-05:00

We are going green at my house......trying to anyway. I keep reading how every little bit helps, so we are trying, in baby steps, to be more conscientious in our re-use of stuff. I quit buying paper napkins, and we use cloth. I figure they can be thrown in the washing machine that is being run anyway. I am not quite ready to forgo paper towels though. I use them so much, I don't know what could replace them. I also quit using the grocery stores bags, both paper and plastic. I never could get a clear answer on which had the less negative impact; so I bought the 99 cent reusable bags that most of the stores sell now. I think they should give them to you . You go in and pick up a few things for dinner and WHAM!! ...$100 just like that. The least they could do is throw in a 99 cent bag for free. We have started recycling now that my neighborhood has a good program . I used to generate a lot of garbage. I had to empty my inside garbage bag once every day or so. Now, since we no longer put in glass, cans, or plastic, it takes me a week to fill it up. At least I don't have to take the garbage out as much. But then the whole thing seems futile, when I listen to my air conditioner. I have been home for about 3 hours, have it set on 75..and it hasn't shut off yet. Ridiculous heat. Waste of energy. Can't wait to see what June Alabama Power has in store for me. At least doubled , I bet....sigh.

This was my sons recycle stuff. Mostly soft drinks, which he claims he no longer drinks. These cans he saved from last summer, til he could find a source to recycle them to.

Now this one is mostly my recycling. Strangely, it is mostly beer bottles (not all mine) and Listerine. Go figure.

Todays Before and After

2008-06-02T18:18:00.003-05:00

Just pics today...no yakking!!!

Before.....

After.....

Beyond Blogging

2008-06-01T14:11:00.006-05:00

I have had so much going on lately, I have not had much time to blog. Also , I just have not had a lot to say lately. Between Son being home and work and summer yard work...time is tight. You notice that 3 months ago, I couldn't wait to "garden". Now I refer to it as yard work. By August I don't even want to look outside; I pine away for winter. To pass the down time I thought I would post a few before and afters. These are of my yard and house and show the changes that have been made over the last year. Todays is the back right corner of my yard. Some of you may not be able to tell them apart...so I labeled them for you!!

Before.......

After......

90 Degrees and Counting

2008-05-24T08:36:00.008-05:00

It only seems like a few days ago we were all wishing for spring and warmer weather. Well, I haven't even made it to June yet and I am ready for fall. I guess its my fluctuating age ( I don't know whats up with that....lately it just goes up, up, up!!), but I just can't stand the heat. I have tried to finish up all my yard projects early, as I knew I wouldn't be able to be outside on hot days. Even early mornings are already sultry with the heat that is inevitable.

I have to host a baby shower at my home in about two weeks. This will be the first time I have had more then 3 or 4 people at my house since I moved here, so I am, of course, doing way more cleaning then is really necessary! These wall hangings are what I painted for the "honored baby". I painted them to coordinate with the nursery bedding. I have since had dozens of people ask about buying them and I would love to make the extra money.

I am not sure people are really willing to pay enough to make it worth my while. I might be able to do them with a little less detail, and have them still be as cute. Here is a closeup of one; honestly, what would you pay for this? (assuming you were into spending money on baby nursery stuff)

What I Did on my Summer Vacation... Lovingly!

2008-05-17T07:46:00.005-05:00

If you were my washing machine....this is how your world has looked for the past week. Yes, my one and only is home from college! And he brought all his clothes neatly packed in 2 suitcases and a huge hamper; dirty mixed with clean. So, I have done laundry (lovingly) for a week now. I only have a few loads left ; then it will be time to start his weekly laundry (lovingly). He has commandeered my remote for the T.V., and I am sad to say that I can no longer have Top Chef, American Idol, and The Very Real Housewives of New York droning on in my background. Instead, it's Fx and Sci-fi channel and every horror flick that is broadcast. And I try to act interested. (lovingly!) I love having him home and I do cherish every minute. For awhile, he thought he would stay in Nashville for the summer and find a job there. Even though he will be a senior this year, I just wasn't ready for that; I looked at this as our last summer as a "family". Thankfully, he wasn't resourceful enough to find a job and came home. Its had an impact on my relationship with L though, as we (or he I should say, I guess I err on the side of sluts) won't sleep together when my son is in the house. It's just too awkward, I have a very small house, and no kid wants to hear the sounds of his parent in the next room. So, for the first week, we haven't seen each other at all. I have really missed him and missed talking to him. Son went out of town this weekend though, so me and L get to catch up on lost time! Its going to be a long summer!

Mother's Day...

2008-05-09T19:58:00.005-05:00

I decided to get my Mom something this year for Mothers Day that she really wanted...books. She loves to read; but she also has trouble sleeping. In her 83 short years she has had her share of tragedy. She lost her husband at the age of 39; with 3 kids, she had never had a job, couldn't even drive a car... she was the last of the true southern belles. I know my Dad thought he took "care" of her by doing everything for her. Little did he know, he should have done more to prepare her to do it on her own. She survived that loss at such an early age, learned to drive within weeks, got a job that she had for over 33 years, and put all three of us through college. She is the Mom of all Moms. I doubt that she knows I feel that way. She recently bore the loss of my brother, to suicide. I thought she would never make it through that. But here she is; never to recover, but able dig down and find the strength to find reasons each day to live. She struggles with sleep though...she resorts to reading to carry her through the nights and save her from her own thoughts. So for Mothers Day this year, instead of the usual clothes or jewelry; I decided to get her lots of books. I hope she enjoys them and I hope she finds peaceful dreams. Happy Mothers day to all you Moms out there. And also to you single dads, some of whom are every bit the greatest parent possible.

Spring

2008-05-02T15:59:00.019-05:00

I know I have said it a few times before...but, I love Spring! I don't much care for the heat, but these few weeks before the 90 to 100 degree weather arrives are crucial to my well being. The warm mornings thaw the memories of the cold gray days of winter. The spring breeze blows the new leaves as they seem to dance on the branches that are their stage. My yard is small and young, meaning the previous owner of this house wasn't much of a gardener. This is my second spring here, but I can already see some major changes. I will post some before and afters over the next few weeks.

This is the front of my house 18 months ago. My sister and I were in the process of hanging the lattice to cover the open side of the garage. Note the "square bush" to the right of the front door.

In the spring of last year, I dug up the square bush. It also took a few whacks with a chainsaw to get it out of the ground. Why people prune bushes into squares; I don't know.....I prefer a more natural look (like maintenance free and unpruned!)

This was taken at the end of last summer.....I planted knock-out roses and a confederate jasmine. You can see the jasmine vine at the bottom of the column on the right side. It was about 2 feet tall when I planted it. I also pruned the "corners" off the bushes on the left; they also were squared off and I hated them.

What a difference a year makes! The jasmine has grown that much in less than 1 year! And the blooms perfume the air all around the front of the house. You can't see but in the top corner of the jasmine sits a birds nest. Those eggs should be hatching any day now.

The Birds

2008-04-28T17:43:00.004-05:00

I know I have posted a lot of bird pictures lately...but there is something about being able to watch the spring nesters that has really caught my interest this year. I have always had a lot of houses and feeders, etc, but this year I seem to have more birds nesting than usual. This nest is right by my deck where we can sit, drink a beer or two, and watch the daily drama unfold. We watched the male pick out the house ( he had a choice between 4), he courted and then unabashedly mated the female right in front of us. Now they have laid and hatched 2 eggs that we can see. They seem to have gotten quite used to us coming and going and show no fear of our presence. Yesterday we watched the feeding frenzy that goes on throughout the day. This female has made hundreds of trips back and forth feeding her babies and I was lucky enough to catch a wide open mouth in the doorway. You can also see the eyes of the second baby reflecting the light. How cute is that ?

No More Pruning

2008-04-24T18:09:00.003-05:00

Every shrub in my yard appears to be a maternity ward....I hear babies peeping whenever I get too close to the birdhouses that are scattered all over my yard, and every bush I look into has nests. It looks like condo city in some of the fuller shrubs. The doves seem to be still sitting on the nests while most of the smaller species have already hatched. The one in the picture seemed totally undisturbed by my presence, so I could not resist getting my camera. I guess my spring pruning can wait a few more weeks.

I know this is boring, but....

2008-04-23T17:02:00.007-05:00

BEFORE

AFTER
AFTER

Just a quick update...I have been working on the aforementioned brick work....and I am posting a very poorly shot before and after. It will look better after I have filled and planted it, one hopes, anyway. I have to tell you though, with exception of the hauling, working with bricks and mortar is really fun...a back breaker but fun. I am now planning on devoting some time to new plantings, but NO more major projects. I want time to enjoy my new back yard before it gets to hot to be outside. Then once the heat is back, I plan to start painting again. The best laid plans......

Absence

2008-04-15T20:55:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the brief absence; spring has just stepped up to claim her allocation of my time. I have spent my weekends and evenings in my yard. L and I have been working on my storage and garage organizing....it has always been a mess. Soon I will have a workbench, a place for my potting stuff, as well as storage for my tools. Also, I have new yard project which involves bricks and mortar! I will post some pictures of my projects when I can. I am a fan of before and after photos, I think you can really see your results when you study a photo. I just wanted to take a few minutes to explain my absence..I haven't quit my blog, just taking a gardening break for a few days!!!

Family Day

2008-04-06T20:16:00.004-05:00

I had a family "party"on Sunday. My family came from various parts of the state for an afternoon of good food, good company and good conversation. We ranged in ages from 23 to 83, with 1 puppy and one blind dog. We laughed the better part of the day, mostly at the puppy. He trashed my house, dug up my newly emerging hostas and ran through my new screen door, but still...I had to laugh! It was a good day.

Two Things

2008-04-05T23:01:00.005-05:00

Two things made today a nice day. One...that is a picture of my dining room table. I haven't seen it in quite a while. It has been buried under stuff for most of the past few months. Usually its papers and mail piled up, waiting for attention. Its my filing system; I always know where stuff is..look on the dining room table. Recently, its been buried under hammers and paint cans and
drills; the most recent tools of my spring projects. But, my family is coming to visit on Sunday. We are all meeting at my house for a few hours to have a meal together. My sister, her son, and my mom will drive down from Birmingham; while my niece and her husband will stop on their way home from a wedding in North Carolina. Even though we won't have but a few hours together, I am looking forward to it. This is the first time since I moved into this house that I have had any guests ( in multiple numbers anyway). My whole house, tiny though it is, is clean from top to bottom. Papers have been filed away, taxes mailed, tools put out in the garage....everything is in its place. I hate to admit it, but it has taken me about a week to clean it all up. Its so nice to see my dining room table! The number two thing that made today a good day, is these new dining room chairs. I have been looking for chairs for a long time and these were a great deal. They match my table like they were made together. I feel so much more relaxed when my house is semi orderly. Now, I'm worried about where everything is !!

Pure Joy

2008-03-31T19:33:00.006-05:00

I think this is one of those moments when a picture speaks a thousand words. So, all I need to say here is Edy's (Low Fat no less) ...if you love dreamsicles then you will love this. I NEVER thought I would like any ice cream without chocolate in it, on it, rippled through or chunked in. But this, is a bowl full of delight. By the way it makes a great dinner, so it probably would work for breakfast also!

Weekend Project

2008-03-30T18:00:00.008-05:00

This was my weekend project...one I have wanted to do since I moved into this house a yea and a half ago. The problem was there was no power in the back yard and i just didn't like the idea of running extension cords under the deck. So a few days ago L put in an outdoor outlet and somehow made there it live with power...now I can plug in mt lights on my umbrella and I finally got to set up my fountain. My Mom gave me this fountain as a house warming present for the first house I ever bought. It got married with me and

traveled to a new house and got divorced with me and traveled to this house. I love the sound of the trickle of water. It is relaxing and the birds love to drink out of it.

Below is a close up, so you can see that he isn't peeing, but holding a fish by the tail...the fish spits the water out. His leg is cracked and I am afraid he won't hold together much longer. But I love having it in my new garden and in whatever condition, he will always be a part of my home...wherever that may be.

Joy of Patience

2008-03-30T09:33:00.007-05:00

Patience......I don't have any! Years ago my Mom gave me a start of her plant that she calls Walking iris. It is supposed to like wet feet and bright light. Somehow, despite this, hers thrives in pots in a window rather than outside by a boggy area. That's my Mom's green thumb prevailing! She has always shared starters of her plants with me and my sister over the years. We always "wrote off" her starters because they were always tiny little sprigs of a plant, which sometimes take years to reach a decent size. For someone who loves gardening as much as I do, I am short on patience. I am the type who wants a full mature garden instantly..the day I plant it. I look out everyday to see if the little plants that came out of a one inch cube are now lush and overgrown. I buy the biggest plants I can afford rather then wait a few extra weeks..they always seem the same size if you just save your money and wait patiently for a few more weeks. But the most rewarding of the two is the one you wait for. The one that takes forever to have its first bloom. I have had this small pot of her Walking Iris since I got my divorce and moved into my own home. This is its first bloom. It is a tiny bloom, but magnificent in detail. And there are two more buds, patiently waiting to make an appearance. Patience.

Easter Joy

2008-03-25T19:51:00.009-05:00

Sitting out on my deck Easter morning we observed the following progression of pictures. First , he did a fly by of the house, then hopped closer, then was brave enough to look in the door, and finally he entered and made a quick check of the perks of being a homeowner.

And in the end......he got the girl!!

Weekend Joy; A New power Tool

2008-03-24T21:57:00.003-05:00

Well, it is really a replacement...my power sander exploded last fall while sanding a butcher block island. It was actually more of a meltdown. So L and I went to Home Depot for spring project supplies; i.e light fixtures for the deck, and a new screen door. He bought me a new sander (which we needed for the door project) that is a few notches better then the one I used to use. The screen door project is one I have been wanting to do for the last year. I love screen doors and porches. Unfortunately I don't have a porch on my little house; my deck is the closest thing I have and I can't do anything about that. But a screen door, well it doesn't really fit the house, but I really wanted one anyway. My bedroom has a door that opens out onto the back deck so it was a perfect place. I love the sound a screen door makes when it slaps shut. There is just something nostalgic about the sound of the spring as it opens followed by the slap of wood when it shuts. Hopefully the weather well allow a few weeks of cool nights before the wicked summer heat starts. With a ceiling fan and screen door, at least I will take a bite out of the air conditioning bill.

Early Morning Joy

2008-03-22T09:05:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I bought a new palm at Lowes. They had them on sale for $9.99 and I have an empty corner in my living room that needs a tenant. This morning when I woke up and came in the room, the sun was shining through the door on the palm making the most beautiful patterns. Each frond is a work of art, each different, yet each staying true to form to what nature intended it. After 15 minutes the show was over....the light had crept on across the floor and once again the palm was a palm. Art in a pot.

Today I Found Joy at My own Front Dooor

2008-03-19T21:46:00.006-05:00

There are many things wrong with my house. It needs a lot of updating, it had a totally bare landscape when I moved in, it sits underwater after the least amount rain ...all things which eventually I can improve; at least with a little luck and a lot of money and elbow grease! But each morning, all it takes is a glance at my front door and I remember the things I loved about the house when I bought it. Mostly, that its all mine...and mine to make into whatever I want. A home, a retreat, a studio, a workshop, some days its a refuge, some days its a cave, most days its my hidden garden . But this front door is the door to all these havens...it faces the east and every morning reflects the rising sun off its bevels like a hundred prisms. You can't see them in the photo, but the reds and blues make dancing fairies all over the room as the sun makes its ascent. My house is my home and my joy.

Todays Joy: $5.99 Tulips from the Grocery Store

2008-03-15T08:45:00.004-05:00

I think I have posted most the topics I can post off my list "100 Things I Love About Larry". There are actually 102 at the moment and it will probably continue to grow and I still have a few more things I want to say about Larry. But many of the topics are just too personal to post for the public to read. Some just too directly relate to his life and I don't want to cross the line of cyber-privacy (although I doubt there is one). The purpose of my writing about him in the first place was a self assigned lesson. Certainly not an original idea in blog-space, it was a transition for me between getting a divorce and merging back into the real world. In a bitter time of accusations and claiming ownership of stuff and bickering phone calls; the best therapy for me was simple joy. For some reason I was not able to find it in myself. I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, I have held the same job for many years , I am independent, I am a decent artist.....I am all these things but I still needed someone else to validate me. Larry made it easy for me. He just mirrors me....he makes me see my self for who I am. I love him. I have loved writing about him and each post helps me see what brings me joy in life. And I hope I am not through writing about Larry, not yet anyway yet. I hope there is more time with him. But, I think I need to develop the joys that I find in myself. I need to be able to pull a joy out on my own; when Larry isn't here to show it to me. I think I might have other things to write about. And I want to paint more and maybe share that here. So to the half dozen or so readers out there, if they are still lhere...a little change in format is coming up!

42. That he is so honest

2008-03-08T19:19:00.001-06:00

He does tell his truths, no matter how painful they may be. He will not lie to me in order to make me perceive things different then they really are. Which is, eventually, a good thing. I say eventually... right now things could seem better. Life is hard, and our history makes it harder. There is a reason for everything; if we just ever figure out what that is.
And....... well that's all I have to say about this.

41. When he walks in the door from work

2008-03-06T18:20:00.001-06:00

Larry doesn't live with me unfortunately; our lives and families dictate that we live some miles apart. He does, however, work daily in my town, so we see each other as often as possible. When I got divorced, I declared that was my last marriage. I decided I could have love and sex without being married. I could have companionship and a partner without being married. I could have someone to go out with and someone to be my best friend without being married. I could have someone to share the world and ups and downs of life with, without being married. I forgot one thing. I forgot about that moment when he comes "home" from work.... that moment when the key hits the lock. (well for us its knock on the door, but still). That moment when you first meet eyes after a day of other distractions and issues. That moment when all seems right with the world. The moment when he comes home.

40. That he fixed my lawn mower

2008-03-03T20:54:00.005-06:00

Last year, my Mom gave me her lawn mower. It was almost new, top of the line and pricey as mowers go. She is 83, can run circles around me and loves to work in her yard. But,we decided she was too old to handle a mower, and hired her a lawn guy. So I inherited the mower for my newly acquired little house following my divorce. The mower was as advanced as a car; only problem was I couldn't start it. My ex worked on it a few times and got it so we could run it a little. Enough to get through last summer...part of it anyway.Since then it has sat in my garage, mocking me every time I walked by, laughing that it didn't have to actually do any work.
Every so often, I would give the starter a yank, but...it wasn't having any of that. It became one of those things that really annoyed me. I needed it and wanted it to start when I needed it! But I also have a battle of the budget going on, so I never seem to have the extra money to take it in to get it looked at. Well this weekend we had beautiful spring weather. I worked on my garden wall ivy which is pictured below. I needed to mow some early weeds that were cropping up. Larry tried one more attempt to get it to run! Lots of paper towels later and the smell of gasoline in the air and the sound of a starting lawn mower was as the happiest sound I have heard in awhile! Finally, finally I have my mower and it makes me so happy...I saved some money and I

have it when I need it ! I looked forward to that trip to the mower shop about like I look forward to a trip to the car mechanic. Step through the door and hear the cha-ching of the cash register; extra charge for being female and knowing nothing about motors! Some jobs are just jobs for men... and motors are one of them !
Now I almost look forward to spring yard work. As soon as my college son gets home for the summer, he has an almost new working lawn mower!!!

39. That he can laugh at the poop talk

2008-02-28T18:50:00.004-06:00

Okay...if you can't tolerate bathroom talk, then leave now! If you are young and don't know what its like to need the bathroom NOW, meaning within the next 7 seconds, then you won't identify with this post. If you or someone you know hasn't had their gall bladder removed, then you need not read further. If you have never had a boyfriend who used the words upset tummy (and expected you to do the same) when he really meant gut wrenching involuntary bowel evacuation, then this won't amuse you. If you talk loud so no one else in the room (or across the room) will hear the gurgling sounds coming from your lower belly, then this will be a meaningless post. If you have never turned around and gone all the way back home in between errands, because your lunch has had a full 13 minutes to digst and is readyto show its face again, then you won't get this. And if you have never put a sticker on your butt that read "Danger Zone", then this probably isn't up your alley either. But if you have had gallstones (approx 70 % of women ....female, fat, fertile and forty, is the profile my doc gave me...gee thanks) and have had your gall bladder removed then you can probably relate. And you would really appreciate Larry. He doesn't make me say upset tummy, he lets me say I gotta poo within the next 7 seconds or you will regret it. Because I can do all these things and he understands. And we laugh about it.

38. On a Lighter note.....

2008-02-25T21:14:00.005-06:00

I probably shouldn't admit to this one. Larry likes his lager type beers...like Guinness. I am more of wine or girlie martini drinker. I will drink a beer here and there, only if the weather is hot and the beer is icy.This past summer he kept telling me I would have to try Octoberfest when it came out. When it finally hit the store in the fall I bought a six pack to try. Then I bought another. I was under the impression it would be available the whole month of October, so I only bought one at a time. Then one day I went in for my weekly six pack, and ...it was Winter Lager! I got the grocery store man and calmly explained what I wanted. He says "sorry lady, Octoberfest is gone". Gone from your store maybe, I thought, but not gone from everywhere. Next day at work and multiple phone calls later (I hope they don't track) to every wine and beer shop in the state....There is none left! I even called the distributor to see who might have some. Costco! They said Costco had all the remaining stock. I went on my lunch break and there was a whole entire wall of it; stacked to the ceiling, case after case! I only bought 2 cases. My wallet and waist said that would have to last me. I rationed them out through the beginning of November. No other beer has made me quite as happy since. I don't know what it is about the stuff, but..thanks Larry.

37. That he came back for a kiss

2008-02-24T11:28:00.003-06:00

This was the aha moment for me, really...It seems to most, I am sure, to be an insignificant moment. But for me it was the moment my heart passed the no turning back point. We had just finished a quick lunch one day. Larry was working and I was off for the day, so we had each arrived in our own cars. He walked me to my car, and we talked a few moments and had a kiss and finally said our goodbyes. He walked across the parking lot towards his truck and I watched him go. That's something I do when people leave, walk or drive away from me...I watch until they are out of sight. I don't know why; maybe in case its the last time I see them and I want to remember it? Anyway, as I watched him approach his truck, he suddenly did an about face, like he had forgotten something. He dodged a car or two, and strode very purposefully back to my car; I was sure he had forgotten to tell me something. But rather than say anything, he just reached through the window and held my face and leaned in for one last kiss. It was fierce. It was a kiss that had purpose. His demeanor was that of "it was something he had to do". He turned and walked away and left for work. I sat in the parking lot for quite awhile.

36. That he loves movies-in-bed-all-day days....

2008-02-20T17:49:00.004-06:00

Spring and summer finds me out and about...always some gardening or yardwork to do. My weekends seem filled with chores, allowing little time for passive activity. Cold or rainy days.... those are the days that call me to the bed! Wether storms or cold prevails, I am easily persuaded to pass the time in bed for the day. Down quilts and fluffed pillows, junk food and wine, and movies that just delight the soul! Some people would think that is such a waste of good time. Larry can waste away a day in bed with the best of them. No guilt laid on me from him; or from me either! We haven't had the luxury of many of these days. The darn weather won't cooperate. Its been unseasonably warm so far this winter and we are having a drought, so the stormy days are lacking also. But we had a few worthy of slacking. Both were long lazy days, mixed with naps and sex and movies. We ventured out for food and drink only, and the only chores were starting the washer and dryer. The simple guiltless pleasure, out of place in these days of rushing and constant activities, brings me nothing but comforting memories. I am a cheap date; what can I say??!!?? Cross your fingers for a cold front!

35. That it was easy to think of 100 things I love about him

2008-02-15T13:14:00.010-06:00

For valentines Day, I gave Larry the list . The whole list of 100 things I love about Larry. I am not finished posting the list yet, but I thought Valentines day would be a good occasion to give it to him. That, along with the fact that it's been awhile since I traded any gifts on Valentines Day with anyone. Not that the day is of significant importance to me....I would rather have a person who lives their love daily then one who has to be prodded by Hallmark and FTD. Still, it is more fun to be with somone on Valentines Day then to feel like the eyes of the world are looking at you for being alone. And its also fun at work to be the first one to get the roses.

I made Larry a card for Valentines Day. It was my way of saying NO to Hallmark, since the good cards that sing sappy songs were like six bucks! So I made an old fashioned card like I used to do as a child. It was actually fun to use school glue and bits of paper and ribbons. The first one I made had lots of red hearts and lacey edging made out of tissue paper. It looked like one I might have made at the age of 4. Really tacky. My second attempt was a little better, after a trip to Hobby Lobby and spending way more then $6.oo on pretty papers, ribbon, scalloped edged scissors, etc. I tied the list of 100 with a ribbon and tucked it into the heart shaped pocket. He has already seen part of the list, as he reads this blog, but it took him a little while to read through the all 100. Some of them are silliness, some are too personal to ever blog about, and most are meaningless to others. But each of the 100 things I love about Larry, represents the first true love I have ever had. I tried to love and thought I loved, but never with such complete acceptance as now. I love him for his goodness, and love him for his faults; for together they are what makes this man.