
This is before...

A personal journey......

What a difference six weeks and 40 degrees makes.....This is my front yard in a March "snow storm" (yeah, yeah , I know but still, this is the deep South!) and this weekend in a stalled rainstorm which flooded much of my town. In all the years I have lived here, I have never seen this town flood at all. This water eventually crept up into my house, flooding out a rarely used sun room, and just barely dampening the edges of the carpet in a few rooms. I am kind of afraid to see what this vista might offer to me next!!!

I do not know what has been wrong with me lately that I can not find 30 minutes in a month, to sit down and write on this blog. It can't be that I have nothing to say, as I always have something to say about everything. I have also noticed, (as pointed out by Sue, http://thetornpages.com/ ) that many of our fellow bloggers are in the same dilemma; no time or will to post. Then what happens is, little by little people quit coming back to check on you. It takes months and months to acquire a few readers but no time to lose them ! I hope it is only the season. After long cold months being trapped inside, I think most people are just a little bit like kids let out of school. Set free! We love our spring weather, we are busy, we just have other things to do that seem more important than writing about them. Interestingly, I still check every blog on my list, as well as all my food blogs (that I don't keep listed on my blog, because then you will think, wow, she is awfully interested in food) every few days. So everybody, it's time to come back. I promise myself, that I will at least sit down and say something every week at a minimum. Because I love to write on my blog, even if no one reads it. And even more so, I love to read the blogs from all of you....I need to keep up with what brings joy to your world ! Have a blessed easter weekend.
This lovely geographic is actually melting snow sliding down the window pane. Being that it is winter, this probably is an insignificant fact to most. But being that this is the deep South, that it was 70 degrees and sunny Friday, lightening and thunder yesterday; it has an impact of profound proportions to us Southerners. We don't know what to do. The women line up in the stores the day before and buy bread and milk. I have never known why...but bread and milk is what we fear running out of. As if no child ever survived on coke and cheez-its for a day or two. As I get older I find it harder to get out of my routine and to tolerate the unexpected; I just don't adjust to things not going my way.
A few days ago I had a call from my college son. He loves to cook and told me he had a craving for Eggs Benedict (which our family loves!). Of course he didn't have anything he needed, but proceeded to make it anyway. He had no English muffins, so used bagels instead. Having no ham, he grilled chicken a breast. And having no hollandaise makings, he made some runny melted cheese. He didn't exactly make Eggs Benedict, but he had something good. Yesterday, he rolled out of bed and put a few t-shirts and jeans in a bag, and hopped on a plane to Miami for spring break. He didn't pack for hours, didn't stress about clothes, didn't worry over how much cash he had, or what his hotel looked like...he will just adapt however he needs.
On this cold snowy day, all I could think about was Eggs Benedict. I was out of English Muffins as well as canadian bacon or ham. I had a stale french baguette though. I grilled thick slices of it, topped that off with bacon and thick slices of tomato, quick fried eggs instead of poached and topped it all off with a warm dose of hollandaise sauce (from Knorrs mix of course!)
To say it was Eggs Benedict isn't quite accurate. But to say it wasn't as good is far from the truth. It was warm and delicious and more than satisfied my craving. As I watched the snow melt off the windows, I realized that
In Japan, the tea ceremony is one of specific rituals, movements, and traditions. It is rich in meaning and history, yet at the same time composed of serene and simplistic aesthetics. It is a social event between people, that is full of peace and harmony.

As usual, the new year finds me fat and not so happy about it. Fat, in that I have gained back almost all the 10 pounds I had lost since early fall. Not so happy, in that recently my weight seems to be the only thing I focus one; its the one piece of my youth that I feel like I can have if I try harder. I can't make my gray hair go away (well, hello Clairol, but still...), I can't smooth away those fine lines and wrinkles (unless willing to let someone sand blast them away or inject with deadly bacteria), and I can't reclaim those lost brain cells that are my failing memory (even though I remember every word to Maggie May, thank you very much). But I can get to healthier weight if I try; I have no inspiration to be thin, just healthier. Twenty pounds would be nice. Really thirty would be nicer, but.....baby steps. What kind of diet? The kind where you eat no carbs (that would leave out bread and beer), or the kind where you count points( that too, would leave out bread and beer). Then, there is the one where you count total calories (again, no bread or beer) or the Mediterranean one with plenty of olive oil and wine (but again...no bread and beer). Bread....I will never be able to go without. I can give up sweets and I can resist the urge to use potato chips as a feed bag, but I will never give up bread. Warm bread, especially just out of the oven, is my favorite food. And lest you think I am a lush and can't live without beer, think again. We just finished the last case of Sam Adams Octoberfest, so truthfully,(since that has been my favorite) I didn't think giving up beer would be a problem. But, who would have thought Sam Adams Irish Red could fill such a void. Let me tell you, it can! Who woulda thunk?
This was the last ornament I packed away....a millennium purchase from almost a decade ago. I was newly married with pre-teen son, moving into a new life. This 2009, I begin my third year divorced and my son will graduate from college. He struggles to identify what he wants to do with his life. I do not write about him though; I know he wouldn't want to be shared in public. He wants little, doesn't need "stuff", and sees life from a minimalist point of view. Some characteristics I should strive for. I swore I would not blog about New Years resolutions. We all know how dangerous they can be.... self deprecating, self defeating, humiliating, damaging to ones self esteem, etc, etc. The concept of New Years resolutions does nothing but force one to look at what is bad, negative, or wrong with their life. Search and identify your personal failures. Then berate yourself 12 months from now when you fail to change; again. Well heck, I just can't resist. Sorry. I just can't pass on the opportunity to point out to the world (all 10 of you readers...on a good day) all the things I have failed miserably at. Too much fun to be had there! And my New Years list is very practical. I don't aspire to achieve things that are not possible for me to affect. I can't make world peace, I can't make people love me differently, and I can't seem to win the lottery.....but here is what I will do in 2009.
This weekend was one of those weekends. Unfortunately, not the good kind where you stay in pj's and/or bed all weekend with someone. This was the kind you just do alone, because....well, what else is there to do. A weekend alone can be a good thing if you are in the mood. During this holiday rush though, sometimes time alone seems so amplified. The aloneness echoes through the silent house. For some reason I just didn't know what to do with myself this weekend. A Friday night office Christmas party didn't help matters either. Not exactly my cup of tea. I guess the party animal in me escaped the zoo many years ago. Too many young girls dancing with each other; too many "woo whoos" shrieked at every song. Now we will play Mustang Sally...woo whoooooo. Not. I went so I wouldn't be the only one NOT there. And to get my Christmas bonus. Which they pointed out we were lucky to get this year.
Like everyone else, I haven't had much time for blogging these last few weeks. I have been busy with the upcoming holidays, busy at work and just generally ....well, busy! I did take a day or 2 off work and finished this painting that is to be a gift for my sister. I am very happy with how it turned out; it looks good in my house so if she doesn't like it...it has a happy home with me!
It's my birthday, so it is hard for work to deny me the day off. For that matter, hard for me to deny me the day off. Weekends are usually eaten up laundry, grocery shopping, housecleaning and other mundane chores. It is hard to make time for what you really would like to do with your scarce free time off. I can tick off a list at any time of things I would like to do just for the sake of trying it; some because I have a feeling I would be really good at, others...just a desire to get my hands in it. I want to play with clay, I want to hand finish a piece of wood that I have made into something, I want to make little garden areas that each make you want to stop and rest awhile, I want to wander down to a stream and throw a fly line...the list is endless. But usually the list of things that have to be done overshadows the fun stuff. So for my free time today, I will will not rake leaves (what I should be doing, but really...who are they hurting?), I won't mop the kitchen floor, (no 5 second rule for awhile) and I won't even get out of my pajamas (why waste an outfit). Instead, I will paint. It's not a new activity for me, but it still is a break from the "sit at a desk day" I usually endure during the week. I suspect if I had to earn my living as an artist, I would begin to dream of days in an office, lunches out with coworkers, and being surrounded by thinking people. It's all part of that learning to be happy with what you have, and grateful that we can take a day off on our birthday.
Ok, ok....I didn't take the picture. I can't even pretend to have taken it as I have never seen the memorial. The photo is emotional in itself; I can not imagine the real thing...the coldness of the marble, the endless columns of names, the haunted veterans who visit it and are forced to remember. Take a few moments this Veterans Day to remember those fallen soldiers who served our country. And for those who made it home or served in times of peace.....we should all thank them for protecting what we take for granted.
credit: I stole the photo from a news source. Sorry.
When my birthday rolls around, which it will later this month; I am fairly happy ignoring it and just trying to have a nice day. As the years pile on, the desire to celebrate pales; it just becomes another day and another number to hopefully forget. But today is the birthday of my best friend. He is full of hope, he is kind, honest, funny, and extremely devout in his faith. He never has to think about doing and saying the right thing, there is no alternative in his mind. He accepts his circumstance and steps up to his mistakes. He loves his children and his family and he sacrifices for those he loves. Although I only met him two years ago, I have known him in my head for my whole life. I will have him in my heart forever. I celebrate this day, his day, his life.
I will rise to the challenge for most things, so I thought why not ? Everyone else seems to be all about the no-knead bread; so why not give it a try? I love, love good bread anyway; and it looked like a fun, season appropriate thing to do. I would have taken pictures as I progressed, but there are so many bizillion posts and videos already regarding Jim Lahey's No-Knead Bread...I won't further bore you. Suffice it to say it was lots of fun, easy and really good despite a few mishaps. I did alter it a bit which is really stupid considering I have never made bread in
provence. I also think I undercooked it a little bit. But regardless of all the things I didn't do right....it was so exciting to cut into that warm loaf, and it was so good slathered with butter;
I was lucky enough to spend the last week in North Carolina...Probably one of my favorite states, at least of the ones I have been to. Unfortunately, I have not seen enough of these great states we live in. Some day I would love to live in N.C. and I would like to see more of this country. I am a back roads kind of traveler. On some trips that doesn't work well, like this one where we were a little pressed for time. Next time I would like to take a slower road (although the interstate was full of leaf color and really beautiful north of Knoxville), stop more frequently and turn down more of those roads that you "wonder whats up there". When we got back home the air was crisp and had that fall chill, cool even for Alabama. I love the fall...short though it is in the South, it still remains my favorite time of year. I am posting a few pictures of the beautiful foliage from the mountains...wishing I was still there, but thanking God for the beautiful place in which we live.


I live on a fairly quiet side street that gets very little traffic. A row or two of houses and a buffer of trees away, lies a main thoroughfare that gets heavy traffic during the day. Its not too bad at night, but once you have turned off it and on to my street, you aren't so aware of the nearby congestion. Except at night. At night with the world bedded down, one hears sounds not audible during the daylight hours. Haunting train whistles, lone cars that pass in the night, distant sirens...background noise normally not noticed. Nights that protest against my attempts to sleep, find me listening to those sounds. They are not individual sounds that can be separated from each other; but rather a constant drone of silent noise that keeps me awake. Tonight, I again listened to those silent voices.
Well it was one of those weekends with not much to do. I am not much for activity filled free time nor do I need to be constanly entertained. I do not, however, deal well with too much time alone. My mind wanders and does damaging things, creates scenarios that come out of God knows where, and I find things to worry about that I can't do anything about anyway. So to cope, I need to make things to do that occupy my brain...both sides. Not just mundane chores and routine tasks; I have those going on the side. No, I need something that totally keeps my attention . So somehow I decided that this was a good weekend to organize my music on my ipod. My computer has been acting funky lately, and between music and pictures, I started to realize I would lose a lot if it decided to crash and burn. So I started with my music, as I don't think I can even begin to touch the photos; no that will have to wait for a long weekend alone. Now if you have an Ipod and you are a not so young person, like myself...you undoubtedly were taught how to use it by a child or a teenager. On, off, download, sync, play..about all there is to it really. Except my music is all mixed up, much without titles, most without album cover pictures (thats the best part too) and some were on the ipod, some were still on the itunes player. All I can say is...trial and error. No such luck with the online manual; it referred to buttons that weren't there, disconnecting before ejecting, playlists you haven't created yet. All I wanted was all the classical together, all the Green day together, all the bluesy romantics together, etc......I just don't want to hear Viva la Vida in the middle of an Andrea Bocelli marathon! After much work and many hours of focused attention; I got the job done. I even have album covers where they are supposed to be and all my music is categorized. If only the photos would be so easy!
I hate cars. I have never had a really nice car...the kind people wash in the touchless car wash, the kind people name, the kind people park in the parking place thats in the next zip code so no one parks next to them. I never really wanted one of those anyway. I just need 4 wheels and an engine...that are reliable, that I can trust, and that are relatively economical to fuel and maintain. Besides that ...its just transportation. Oh...and did I mention a man to fix said car. Yeah; I need it to come with a man to do everything it needs except gas it up; I can do that. Actually I like to do that because I love the smell of gasoline and diesel. Beyond that, I hate taking the car in for any kind of repair or maintenance. I don't even like to take it in to get the oil changed. I can handle anything else; I can use a circular saw, do your income taxes, cast a nice line, even program and operate a DVD. But... DO NOT ask me when I changed the oil in the car, or where I bought my battery, or what kind of tires I have. I don't want to know. I don't care. It makes my skin crawl and my eyes glaze over. I have cried when it didn't start and I fear the man who drives the tow truck. I think all men who work under cars, also went to that schoool where they teach you exactly how to make me feel stupid, as well as how to sucker-punch me for every penny left on my credit card limit. So imagine my gratitude when my best man friend in the world fixed mine for me last night. And after about 20 minutes of trying to release a bolt with an inadequate tool not meant for cars....we went shopping and I became the proud owner of a metric socket set. 




Well, at my house, we are about 3 months into our "go green" transformation. If you read the earlier post, http://pats-dryrun.blogspot.com/2008/06/going-green.html then you know I have taken an, albeit too late, but obsessive interest in our environment and its inevitable demise. I recognize that we each can do a lot to better the future of our earth. And I also recognize that it isn't a situation where one should feel that they can not make an impact. The biggest contribution, in addition to making changes ourselves, is to educate others, especially our children. Our kids are much more aware then their parents about recycling, our carbon footprints, and the circle of effects of our oil usage. I have to do things in baby steps if I want to succeed. So my the changes I made, were that we would take part in our city's recycling program, switch from paper napkins to cloth, switch to recyclable grocery bags, and quit buying water in plastic bottles. The recycling we have easily melded into. The first few times were a bit of a mess. We found that even though the website states they take glass, they actually do not. So they weren't real fond of the beer bottles that we left as an environmental contribution. I still don't get the "no glass" thing but they take everything else, limiting plastics to 1 and 2. The switch from paper to cloth napkins was totally an unnoticed change. I need to buy a few more, but otherwise; painless! The grocery bag switch was also easy. I just have to find a way to remember to take them with me into the store. But the water thing has been hard. I quit buying plastic bottles of water and I do miss them. There is something embedded in my brain that makes me think the bottled water tastes better. It even works when I fill a saved bottle up with tap water and chill it. So I have to work on that notion. I have a Brita pitcher, but the filters eat you up at about $6 a piece. I am ready to add a few more changes...the one I need to do the most is to cut out or at least cut way back on paper towel usage. I go through a lot on a daily basis. I am not sure what an easy replacement would be. It seems if you use dish towels, they will always be damp and having to be replaced with a dry one. I guess though, that they won't take more room in the washing machine. I think this will be on my new list of changes to add at my house. And I am also going to try my moms old habit, which I used to think was disgusting, of re-using plastic bags...like sandwich bags. I used to scoff at her drying bag which she used to stick upside down over the kitchen faucet to dry. Now they make a rack that goes in your dishwasher to wash those same bags. Who knew...besides Mom !!

But look what else is inside the top drawer...a new birds nest. A little male and female chickadee are building a new nest; in the nice cool (relatively) and shady garage. I do wonder why birds would be starting a new nest now...do they lay eggs this late in the season? Or are they just after a little love nest? This afternoon when I pulled my car in the garage, they were sitting together side by side on the edge of the open drawer. I wish I could have grabbed my camera, but they hopped off long enough for me to pass through the door. I guess this drawer will stay open awhile longer!







This is L's gift to me for my birthday which was this past winter. I knew he was building me an easel...something I have always wanted, but had never quite found the right one, nor one I could afford. I wasn't sure what was taking so long, until I he brought it over this weekend. He made this for me out of some cherry wood that he had in his workshop. The detail in the picture shows beautiful hand-carved pieces of contrasting woods. I know it will eventually be covered in slashes of paint. Although I will try to keep it clean, I know it won't stay that way ..... my coffee table and dining room table, both bear the details of past paintings I have done. I have used everything from my mantel with nails poked in it, to a stool standing on a table to hold my canvases. Now I really feel like an artist, with a custom hand made, hand carved and hand waxed easel. I think this easel is beautiful and is as much a work of art as any canvas it will ever hold. God gives us many talents, from carving and working with wood, to writing and painting. I thank God for his gift to Larry and I thank Larry for his gift to me.
Daylilies...........although they are one of the most carefree, near "weed", and prolific multipliers, are one of my most favorite plants. Even the common orange street side variety captures my attention. In China, some varieties of daylilies are used in the kitchen, There is a yellow variety that is considered a delicacy and is used in a type of golden soup. I love to pair orange flowers with blue in the garden. You can see blue plumbago in the background in this picture. The plumbago is struggling; it should be three times as big as it is now. It is struggling to survive from being wintered over, I know its not usually done and is rarely successful, but I can't bring myself to pitch a plant that still breathes. I am coming to realize I am a person who has a hard time giving it up, in all walks of life. I dragged my marriage out till it was painful before I accepted it wasn't going to survive. I can't accept that my son is an adult and does not need me to nurture (torture) him any longer. I struggle to hold on to things way past the end. Daylilies bloom, flourish and die all in one day. It amazes me that something so beautiful yet so simple is here one minute and gone the next. Like people in your life. One minute you hold it in your hand; the next minute it's gone. How about you, do you hold on..... Or do you let go?
I have had so much going on lately, I have not had much time to blog. Also , I just have not had a lot to say lately. Between Son being home and work and summer yard work...time is tight. You notice that 3 months ago, I couldn't wait to "garden". Now I refer to it as yard work. By August I don't even want to look outside; I pine away for winter. To pass the down time I thought I would post a few before and afters. These are of my yard and house and show the changes that have been made over the last year. Todays is the back right corner of my yard. Some of you may not be able to tell them apart...so I labeled them for you!!Before.......


I have to host a baby shower at my home in about two weeks. This will be the first time I have had more then 3 or 4 people at my house since I moved here, so I am, of course, doing way more cleaning then is really necessary! These wall hangings are what I painted for the "honored baby". I painted them to coordinate with the nursery bedding. I have since had dozens of people ask about buying them and I would love to make the extra money.
If you were my washing machine....this is how your world has looked for the past week. Yes, my one and only is home from college! And he brought all his clothes neatly packed in 2 suitcases and a huge hamper; dirty mixed with clean. So, I have done laundry (lovingly) for a week now. I only have a few loads left ; then it will be time to start his weekly laundry (lovingly). He has commandeered my remote for the T.V., and I am sad to say that I can no longer have Top Chef, American Idol, and The Very Real Housewives of New York droning on in my background. Instead, it's Fx and Sci-fi channel and every horror flick that is broadcast. And I try to act interested. (lovingly!) I love having him home and I do cherish every minute. For awhile, he thought he would stay in Nashville for the summer and find a job there. Even though he will be a senior this year, I just wasn't ready for that; I looked at this as our last summer as a "family". Thankfully, he wasn't resourceful enough to find a job and came home. Its had an impact on my relationship with L though, as we (or he I should say, I guess I err on the side of sluts) won't sleep together when my son is in the house. It's just too awkward, I have a very small house, and no kid wants to hear the sounds of his parent in the next room. So, for the first week, we haven't seen each other at all. I have really missed him and missed talking to him. Son went out of town this weekend though, so me and L get to catch up on lost time! Its going to be a long summer!
I decided to get my Mom something this year for Mothers Day that she really wanted...books. She loves to read; but she also has trouble sleeping. In her 83 short years she has had her share of tragedy. She lost her husband at the age of 39; with 3 kids, she had never had a job, couldn't even drive a car... she was the last of the true southern belles. I know my Dad thought he took "care" of her by doing everything for her. Little did he know, he should have done more to prepare her to do it on her own. She survived that loss at such an early age, learned to drive within weeks, got a job that she had for over 33 years, and put all three of us through college. She is the Mom of all Moms. I doubt that she knows I feel that way. She recently bore the loss of my brother, to suicide. I thought she would never make it through that. But here she is; never to recover, but able dig down and find the strength to find reasons each day to live. She struggles with sleep though...she resorts to reading to carry her through the nights and save her from her own thoughts. So for Mothers Day this year, instead of the usual clothes or jewelry; I decided to get her lots of books. I hope she enjoys them and I hope she finds peaceful dreams. Happy Mothers day to all you Moms out there. And also to you single dads, some of whom are every bit the greatest parent possible.
I know I have said it a few times before...but, I love Spring! I don't much care for the heat, but these few weeks before the 90 to 100 degree weather arrives are crucial to my well being. The warm mornings thaw the memories of the cold gray days of winter. The spring breeze blows the new leaves as they seem to dance on the branches that are their stage. My yard is small and young, meaning the previous owner of this house wasn't much of a gardener. This is my second spring here, but I can already see some major changes. I will post some before and afters over the next few weeks.
In the spring of last year, I dug up the square bush. It also took a few whacks with a chainsaw to get it out of the ground. Why people prune bushes into squares; I don't know.....I prefer a more natural look (like maintenance free and unpruned!)
This was taken at the end of last summer.....I planted knock-out roses and a confederate jasmine. You can see the jasmine vine at the bottom of the column on the right side. It was about 2 feet tall when I planted it. I also pruned the "corners" off the bushes on the left; they also were squared off and I hated them.

Every shrub in my yard appears to be a maternity ward....I hear babies peeping whenever I get too close to the birdhouses that are scattered all over my yard, and every bush I look into has nests. It looks like condo city in some of the fuller shrubs. The doves seem to be still sitting on the nests while most of the smaller species have already hatched. The one in the picture seemed totally undisturbed by my presence, so I could not resist getting my camera. I guess my spring pruning can wait a few more weeks.
I had a family "party"on Sunday. My family came from various parts of the state for an afternoon of good food, good company and good conversation. We ranged in ages from 23 to 83, with 1 puppy and one blind dog. We laughed the better part of the day, mostly at the puppy. He trashed my house, dog up my newly emerging hostas and ran through my new screen door, but still...I had to laugh! It was a good day.
Two things made today a nice day. One...that is a picture of my dining room table. I haven't seen it in quite a while. It has been buried under stuff for most of the past few months. Usually its papers and mail piled up, waiting for attention. Its my filing system; I always know where stuff is..look on the dining room table. Recently, its been buried under hammers and paint cans and