Saturday, December 12, 2009
My ex husband died yesterday. We were only married about 7 years and together for about 4 years before that. Add the 3 years we have been divorced and that gives us almost 15 years knowing each other. I loved him once and I think that at one time, he loved me; at least the best that he was capable of. Our relationship started out good, but should have ended before we married. I knew it somewhere deep down inside my heart. But that knowledge was so deep down inside me; every time it tried to surface I shoved it back to the land of ignorance. I wanted it to be, so badly, that I was sure I could fix it all, or at least live with it. I was so ignorant of the responsibilities of marriage. I wanted to be someones wife, to belong with someone, to stand beside someone, to always have someone to come home to. So I ignored my ex husbands shortcomings....I ignored who he was, and in that I disrespected him as a man. My intentions were good, albeit somewhat selfish. And I have no doubt he had good intentions as well. I think he might say the same thing, I think he didn't want to be alone anymore. I have also disrespected him, as most divorced people do, by talking about his evil low down dirty rotten scoundrel lying cheating side. And I am sure he did to me as well. But, he still claims a part of my life, part of my history, and part of who I will be in the future. And I meant you no disrespect Ronnie, I am sorry I didn't let you be you. I am sorry you had to go.
P.S. If you read this, Max misses you so bad.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It is once again Veterans Day, a day I never really thought much about and frankly took quite for granted. Not until becoming a mother and a wife, did I ever consider that a soldier is someone's son or daughter, or that he is a husband or father. Not until my own son was of the age when he might enlist or be drafted if ever our country returned to that. Not until a few years ago, when L approached my uncle, a WWII veteran, and said "I want to thank you for serving this country". And he shook his hand. My uncle, who still talks about that moment, was recognized for what he did. Someone else recognized what he sacrificed. I have posted about this before, and it remains one of my single most inspiring moments I have witnessed. So don't just wave a flag, watch a parade, or just take the day off if it is a holiday for you. Thank a veteran of any military branch. Be it Navy, Army, Air Force, or Marines. WWII, Vietnam, or boot camp. Thank them, whether they were in a war or not. They put themselves in harms way every day. They lose their lives in combat, in helicopters, in accidents, and in training. This Veterans day, take a moment to thank a vet.
"We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."
Saturday, October 24, 2009
It was a mixed bag in the North Carolina mountains; we started the week off with 30 degree weather and snow, and ended with mid 60's. We saw everything from snow to rain to sunshine.
The color was not as good at the higher elevations, but was really beautiful on a waterfall side trip we made in the southern part of the mountains.
The first picture is Looking Glass Falls and the next two are White Water falls, both in Brevard, N.C.
The highlight of the week was a little off the beaten path. While on a public viewing platform at Connestee Falls, L spotted something off in the woods beside the falls. If you click on this photo and look closely to the right of the falls, you will see some stairs! Now, I am not one to run off into the woods without a marked trail . I am the one who doesn't take enough chances in life. L is the one who inspires me to be more of a participant in life. And being out of shape, overweight and with an old foot injury, I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to do physical things. I have deep seated fear of walking just far enough into the woods to be beyond rescue, and having a heart attack. For me, far enough is about 50 feet. But when he sees stairs in the woods beside the falls...he is going in! It took a little encouraging on his part, but I tentatively followed him into the woods to find a way to come up over the falls to the other side. Soon, we found a hint of a path, which soon became a good trail and then became a marked trail. It was an easy stroll in the woods, even for me. The only part that concerned me was the 100 and some odd steps that led down to the falls. That and the little snake that laid on one of the steps. It scared me so bad I couldn't even take a picture.
Eventually we came out in a clearing right beside the falls, so close you could put your hand in. The twin falls of Connestee and Batson Creek spill in from two directions. The waters pool together and form a third falls called Silver Slip. The constant roar of the twin falls echoed through the woods and proved to be a magical place.
I am inspired to get in better shape, to regain my confidence, and to venture out of my comfort zone more often. Life is too short. And to you...thank you for that walk.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
An antique door ...I love the hardware on this one as well. But I like those old glass doorknobs for all the interior doors.
this photo taken without permission from
Old screen doors on every entrance...and they have to be the real kind that slap the wood every time they close. The hinges can squeak as well.
a front porch...enough said
....fireplace, preferably stone
a farmhouse sink
And this lovely bathroom. I am blessed to have a really nice little house, and love it and I am truly grateful for it. It's main issues for me are that it isn't located where I would like it to be. If I could add a porch, get a new "old" door and screen doors, face the fireplace out with stone, get a new sink and remodel the bathroom; then it would be perfect.
maybe move it to this view.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Although this picture is from last fall, it won't be long before we enjoy cooler days again. We were teased the last few days with mild weather, and it was just enough to make me yearn for colder weather and fall colors. The fall days bring out the best in me, something I need a dose of right now.
Some days are good ones, others... not so. For some reason today did not start out to be my best. After a few cups of coffee and some negative mind games, I decided that being a 3 day weekend, I had to turn things around. Having an extra day off onMonday is golden around here, so although I have no weekend plans, I decided to at least make some of that time useful. I resorted to what I usually do when faced with idle time.....No, I did not cut my hair. But I did clean and reorganize an unusually messy house. After the May return of my recent college graduated son, my small house is bursting with stuff. Although I had originally looked at this as a temporary housing situation, it appears it is turning into a roomate situation that doesn't have an ending in the near future. Unless a miracle job appears for said Biology graduate. Soon. Anything, really will do. So while he sleeps away his Saturday morning; and now his afternoon as well, I have cleaned my way through half my house. And then a late afternoon suprise visit has turned a not so day into a happy one.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Not much time to be blogging this summer. But this morning I sat alone in my little back yard with a cup of coffee. It was breezy and unseasonably cool for us this time of year. The garden was quiet and peaceful; one of those few moments that stands still for you. It was a perfect time to reflect on what brought me joy these past few weeks.
An afternoon trip to the zoo
Summer flowers in the garden
Almost $0 credit card debt (almost)
Laughing with my son
A shared plate of jalapeno poppers
Light work loads in the office
Fresh tomatoes and herbs
A trip to the beach with family
How about you? Don’t forget to make the time to recognize what you are grateful for. It makes all the hard stuff worth it.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A few days ago I had a call from my college son. He loves to cook and told me he had a craving for Eggs Benedict (which our family loves!). Of course he didn't have anything he needed, but proceeded to make it anyway. He had no English muffins, so used bagels instead. Having no ham, he grilled chicken a breast. And having no hollandaise makings, he made some runny melted cheese. He didn't exactly make Eggs Benedict, but he had something good. Yesterday, he rolled out of bed and put a few t-shirts and jeans in a bag, and hopped on a plane to Miami for spring break. He didn't pack for hours, didn't stress about clothes, didn't worry over how much cash he had, or what his hotel looked like...he will just adapt however he needs.
On this cold snowy day, all I could think about was Eggs Benedict. I was out of English Muffins as well as canadian bacon or ham. I had a stale french baguette though. I grilled thick slices of it, topped that off with bacon and thick slices of tomato, quick fried eggs instead of poached and topped it all off with a warm dose of hollandaise sauce (from Knorrs mix of course!)
To say it was Eggs Benedict isn't quite accurate. But to say it wasn't as good is far from the truth. It was warm and delicious and more than satisfied my craving. As I watched the snow melt off the windows, I realized that
I need to learn to be more flexible, to make do with what I have, and to know that my way isn't always the only way.
Lighten up and go with the flow as they say..... words I hope to make more a part of my life.
***for a different take on our snow day here in the South, check out this lovely post***
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
So.... it's time to clean my room, hang up all my cast aside clothes, and dust off my treadmill. Its the only way for me; it's such a simple fact, you wouldn't think I would even have to write about weight loss. I know it, I just have to make it part of my routine. I knew I should have bought the treadmill with the cupholder! My 2009 diet has officially begun, and I expect to be held accountable to how many beers I drank, and how many miles I walked. Ermmm, make that how many beers I didn't drink and how many tenths of a mile I walked.