You know, it took me near a year before I quit blaming my ex for most of the issues which led to our divorce. I still like to throw the really nasty stuff into his corner. The issues I have finally accepted as my own fault ( and there are many), have become lessons for my future life. As I live and breath, I will never try to change a man again, I will never feign indifference as a way to get even, and I will never underestimate the lack of faith in one partner.
Larry has always accepted responsibility for his divorce, as well as for the issues that led to the disintegration of his relationship. Even the parts that aren't exactly his burden to bear, he accepts. The anguish of losing influence over his children is taking a particularly heavy toll. He struggles with his guilt as his family loses their way and struggles with their faith. He blames the misguidance of the children on his absence. In truth, it is probably lack of guidance of any kind, rather then misguidance. In truth, most young adults go through a period in their lives when they reject most everything they have been taught; spirituality, politics and morals. Its part of growing up and accepting your own responsibilities. You must have faith that they will come back to what you have taught them. You must have faith in the groundwork that you laid. You must have faith that the doctrines they have adopted are not truly the ones in their hearts. They are just the walls they build to protect them from pain and loss. Walls can be knocked down.