34. He helped me find my joy

I used to paint some when I was younger, especially before I was married, then divorced. I lost the desire to create something that was beautiful to me, let alone to someone else. It seemed unimportant and a waste of my time, really. Then my sister needed some art for an office she was decorating. She had a budget, and being aways broke I needed her budget money. So I produced this...


And I made a little money which was nice. But I didn't particularly enjoy painting it. It was more like a job. So I bought some new canvases, but put them aside and didn't paint for months. Not long ago, I spent a really good weekend with Larry. I don't know why it was so special, but it was just...that. Sometimes, after he leaves at the end of the weekend... and we face the long work week, I feel sad and lonely; sort of lost. But after this weekend, I felt happy, full of hope and full of joy. I want more joy in my life. I want more hope. We choose to allow joy into our lives. We choose to recognize what brings us joy. So, one thing I know is that Larry brings me joy. And I rediscovered my canvases which also bring me joy. And now I have this new painting in my bedroom. I love it.