"whoever touches us, teaches us....."

Thursday, February 28, 2008

39. That he can laugh at the poop talk


Okay...if you can't tolerate bathroom talk, then leave now! If you are young and don't know what its like to need the bathroom NOW, meaning within the next 7 seconds, then you won't identify with this post. If you or someone you know hasn't had their gall bladder removed, then you need not read further. If you have never had a boyfriend who used the words upset tummy (and expected you to do the same) when he really meant gut wrenching involuntary bowel evacuation, then this won't amuse you. If you talk loud so no one else in the room (or across the room) will hear the gurgling sounds coming from your lower belly, then this will be a meaningless post. If you have never turned around and gone all the way back home in between errands, because your lunch has had a full 13 minutes to digst and is readyto show its face again, then you won't get this. And if you have never put a sticker on your butt that read "Danger Zone", then this probably isn't up your alley either. But if you have had gallstones (approx 70 % of women ....female, fat, fertile and forty, is the profile my doc gave me...gee thanks) and have had your gall bladder removed then you can probably relate. And you would really appreciate Larry. He doesn't make me say upset tummy, he lets me say I gotta poo within the next 7 seconds or you will regret it. Because I can do all these things and he understands. And we laugh about it.

7 comments:

citizen of the world said...

They call that risk profile "The Four F's." Alhtough the only friend I have whose had the surgery is a male. A little chubby, perhaps, and in his 40's and fertile, so I guess it was close enough. Although, I'm actually with your boyfriend on this one - I say "upset stomach" and wish I could put a sign in my office that says "Please don't tell me about your GI symptoms." Sorry.

Coll said...

Definitely have been there.. although no gallbladder issues that I know of.

pat said...

well I believe in discretion with the general public, but I also think a body is a body and ya can't help some of the things it does to you!

pat said...

And I was definately the 4 f's when i had my GB out!!!!

Melissaria said...

Well, no gall bladder removal here, but a very unpleasant birth a couple of years ago which means that I must now follow the advice my Aunty Joyce gave me - a mother goes when she can, not when she must. Have only had to go round supermarket with soggy knickers in my bag once, thank goodness...

And I've also had to get off a London tube train to throw up on the platform, but that was alcohol realted. Oops

pat said...

melissaria that was too funny

Arthur Dent said...

Heh... Poop jokes!

"Corn? Honey...? When did I last eat corn?.... Really? That long ago?..... Well, I didn't THINK I was that constipated...... No, I'm good, but thanks...... No, really honey, don't get the prune juice out...... No, you REALLY don't want to come in here...."